The Office: Secret Santa

Only Santa Claus could bring "The Office" out of the depression it found itself in last week. This season, Phyllis finally got her Christmas wish and suited up to play the office Santa at the holiday party. Michael didn't take too kindly to being replaced, calling Phyllis "Tranny Claus" and having Kevin sit on his lap, causing him near paralysis.

Elsewhere, Pam was working on setting Oscar up with the new warehouse guy, Matt. (Pam noted that they were the only two gay guys she knew, so naturally they should be together.) Andy was embarrassed that his "Twelve Days of Christmas" idea for Erin wasn't working out - Erin found her car filled with geese and her cat scratched her up pretty badly in an attempt to kill the turtledoves. (Andy made up for it later with his awesome performance with the tweleve drummers drumming.)

In a childish move, Michael dressed as Jesus in order to outshine Phyllis, much to Toby's chagrin and Angela's initial delight. But in an even more childish move, Michael used the karaoke mic to mock Phyllis and the other employees as their gifts were distributed.

Banished to his office, Michael called David Wallace to complain, but David informed him that Dunder Mifflin was being bought and the executives were being let go. (Why does Wallace tell Michael anything... ever? Look at what happened at the company picnic last year.) Lacking business savvy, Michael assumed this meant they were all fired and decided the Christmas party was a fine time to tell everyone. Jim figured everything out and the entire office sat in on a call with the CFO as he explained that the branch would remain intact.

Quotes of the Week:

Kevin: Michael, it's me. Kevin.

Jim: (to Michael) You can't yell out, "I need this, I need this" as you pin an employee to your lap.

Michael: (as Jesus) Dwight's gonna be able to build himself a friend.

Michael: (as Jesus, to Stanley) Except for cheating on your wife. Adultery's a sin. Look it up in the Bible, people.