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2010-12-23T16:04:00.002-06:00

Hey guys! Obviously this post has been a long time coming and I apologize. But if you've been crying yourself to sleep at night, missing my Office recaps, dry those eyes.

All my content is at The Dallas Morning News' TV Blog. Enjoy!

The Office: Whistleblower

2010-05-20T20:59:00.002-05:00

Holly Flax is coming back to the Scranton branch. So ends the weakest season of The Office: with a glimmer of hope and a beginning to the end.

Next season may be Steve Carell's last and if that means the end of the series - as I hope it does, since the show just shouldn't exist without Michael Scott - then bringing back the love of Michael's life would be a fitting way to send it off.

But for now, let's put season six to rest. The season finale began with Michael enjoying the tiny amount of fame he'd garnered by telling the local news that nothing was wrong with Sabre printers. Of course, that wasn't true, so Jo (Kathy Bates) returned to Scranton to figure out who was the whistleblower.

Darryl, Pam and Kelly all thought they'd done it by accidentally talking to a reporter, but Nick the I.T. guy - in a fit of rage because no one knew his name - revealed that it was Andy, as everyone had already suspected. Only Erin had any sympathy for him.

As Jo and Michael worked together, Michael talked about how much he missed Holly. Jo confessed to not wanting to be the stereotypical corporate head who has to make a public apology and recall. Michael, remembering how fun it is to be on TV, volunteered and in exchange, Jo promised to try and transfer Holly back to Scranton.

In the development most likely to fade by the second or third episode next season, Dwight took Jo's advice about buying property and decided to buy the Scranton Business Park that houses Dunder Mifflin, Vance Refrigeration, and others. (In a cute reference to the British Office, Dwight revealed that the business park is located on Slough Avenue.) Also, David Wallace and his children's toy vacuum, "Suck It," made a cameo!

Hopes for next season: the continued absence of Jim and Pam's baby, better characterization, and a solid ending to one of my favorite shows ever. See you next season!

Quotes of the Week:

Dwight: Are you referring to alchemy?

Dwight: I'm not dumb. I'm smart.

Dwight: Basement office? You mean like a lair?

Gabe: What a rich timbre your voice has.

Nick: Darryl, you're on Facebook. Why have you been telling people you're not on Facebook? People want to be your friend, man!

The Office: The Chump

2010-05-14T11:05:00.001-05:00

Thursday night's episode, "The Chump," was a major disappointment. It felt like filler - something to bide our time between last week's episode and next week's season finale. Jokes fell flat, characterizations were off, and storylines were dropped and picked up with reckless abandon for continuity.

Even more frustrating, the show seems to be substituting relationship problems with the workplace problems that made the show fun to watch. We've always known these characters, but their private lives were still relatively private. Now the entire office meddles in each other's affairs - it's usually funny, but it's still no replacement for the workplace humor that should be at the forefront of the show.

The employees assumed that Michael would have broken things off with Donna after learning that she was cheating on her husband with him. Pam and Erin bought ice cream and instructed everyone to laugh at Michael's jokes - but they quickly find that Michael is still enjoying an affair. The office is dismayed at his cavalier attitude and Andy takes charge. Having been cuckolded himself, Andy took Michael to meet Donna's husband, a local high school baseball coach.

The one bright spot of this episode was Andy. Without the Erin romance weighing him down, Ed Helms' performance was a return to the delightfully whimsical and near-irritating Andy of season three. His behavior at the baseball game had me in stitches. But alas, Andy's plan backfired. Shaking the hand of the man he was cuckolding made Michael feel like James Bond. He takes this attitude back to the office where, after offending nearly everyone, he realizes that he'd rather be able to live with himself than be happy. So he breaks up with Donna via text message.

While all of this was going on, Dwight and Angela were trying to get out of their baby-making contract. Angela either wanted a baby or Schrute Farms. (I'm not sure why they got to hold a mediated negotiation in the middle of the conference room during a workday, but then Michael got to go to a baseball game.) They compromised by agreeing to make love five more times. Dwight took no chances and lowered his sperm count through various painful methods.

Many aspects of the episode were lazy: How could Michael feel okay about enabling Donna's cheating when he was so against Stanley's affair? Did Andy and Erin ever officially break up? What happened to Isabel, the attractive girl who was mysteriously into Dwight when we last saw him and Angela arguing over their contract? And the Jim/Pam subplot of not getting enough sleep was cute enough, but didn't pay off until the end of the episode.

Next week looks to tackle the Sabre-exploding-printers controversy before we leave for the summer.

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

Creed: Curve the bullet, like in my favorite James McAvoy film, Wanted.

Dwight: Michael! Nice tie or something.

Michael: Real Sports with Bryant Gumball.

Andy: You're Ali Larter. I am Beyonce.
Michael: I am Beyonce. Always.

Andy: No. But we're gay for baseball.

The Office: The Cover-Up

2010-05-07T12:05:00.002-05:00

It's a good thing The Office stepped up its game last night. Parks and Recreation and Community have been nearly outdoing it all season and even 30 Rock has gotten really funny again in the last three weeks. So even though Community aired what may have been its best episode yet, The Office had a terrific companion with "The Cover-Up."

The cold open brought me back to more whimsical times, as Jim and Pam showed off their knowledge of Morse code by tapping on their computer desks and clicking their pens in order to make Dwight paranoid. It was totally a call back to season three when Jim said that he and Pam would hum the same high pitched note and convince Dwight to see an ear doctor for his "pretendinitis." Loved it.

The bulk of the episode, directed by first timer Rainn Wilson, focused on Michael trying to discern if Donna was cheating on him. After hearing about how Donna always wanted to leave town to go on dates, the employees grew suspicious of Donna's intentions. Michael hired Dwight to spy on her, but Dwight decided that the best way to figure out if Donna was cheating was to try and seduce her.

Angry, Donna confronted Michael at the office and said she wasn't cheating, but when Kelly grilled her about the jewelry she was wearing, Donna couldn't come up with a story fast enough. That made Pam wary, so she checked Facebook and found that Donna was indeed cheating on Michael. (Michael isn't on Facebook yet? Surely that'll happen soon.) But when Michael asked Donna, she revealed that she was actually married and that Michael is the mistress.

In the B plot, Andy received a call from a customer about their Sabre printer exploding into flames while printing a pretty huge amount of documents. Andy told Gabe, who promised to call corporate about it. Darryl, who was still mad about a missed shipment caused by Andy more than two years ago, saw his opportunity for revenge and convinced Andy that he was now at the center of a corporate cover-up and was likely to be "eliminated."

Darryl got Andy to test out a printer in the old Michael Scott Paper Company headquarters and - lo and behold - it actually blew up. I hope this is a setup for the rest of the season, because I can definitely see the comedy in a corporate cover-up - especially if Gabe continues to try to buy people off with Dunkin Donuts gift cards.

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: We went to a little Chinese bistro. P.F. Changs.

Michael: This is the real world. Not The Real World: Scranton.

Michael: How much do you charge?
Dwight: One hundred dollars a day, plus expenses.
Michael. I'll give you fifty. Money's no object.

Michael: It's never too early for ice cream. But we didn't have ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.

Dwight: I don't quit until something tears or pops.

Creed: So there I am, minding my own business. Darnell offers me three bucks. All I had to do was walk by Andy's desk and go like this: (slices finger across neck). Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.

The Office: Body Language

2010-04-30T11:58:00.001-05:00

With the news arriving this week that the next season of The Office may be the last for Steve Carell, I find myself awaiting the end of an era. I'm of the opinion that if Carell walks, the series should end. (Though I would not be opposed to a Dwight or Andy centered spin-off.) I don't want to see the series flounder. Currently, the show isn't as good as it was in seasons two and three, but it is still one of the funniest on television, even in its weaker weeks. And this was kind of a weak week.

After one of my favorite cold opens in series history in which Michael tries to learn Spanish, Jim and Pam tried to work together on a sales pitch for Michael's new love interest, Donna, who was looking to buy some printers. (Whoever wrote for Pam in this episode is awful. Pam was funny enough - but she wasn't Pam.) Michael took over the sale and tried to woo the lady, first with Victoria's Secret magazines, then with a subliminal message slideshow. When he tried to kiss Donna in the conference room with the entire office watching, she recoiled.

The office was divided, similarly to the Hilary Swank themed episode. Was Donna interested in Michael? After all, she was wearing provocative clothing and didn't storm out after Michael's advances. Later, Michael tried to eat a mint out of her hand and she was even more horrified. But in the end, Michael ran to her car after she forgot her barrette and received a kiss from the vaguely desperate Donna.

The B plot was much funnier. After Dwight was opposed to Darryl participating in Sabre's "Print In All Colors" executive training program, Dwight tried to get Kelly interested in applying, assuming she will be a more malleable source of power. I always love when The Office shows how unfamiliar Kelly is with Indian heritage, so I was a sucker for this bit. She ended up getting the position with the program, where she determined that she would succeed, promote Ryan and together, the duo would "clean house."

Quotes of the Week:

Dwight: I have it on good authority that within 20 years, everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

Oscar: That's what he says?

Angela: You should see their baby!

Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight: Uh, glasses-wearers, cholera survivors, geniuses, non-organic family farmers, the list goes on and on.

Creed: You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus.

Kevin: Now you know how I feel sitting next to those M&Ms all day.
Andy: Well, why don't you just move the M&Ms?
Kevin: Well, why don't you shut up?

The Office: Secretary's Day

2010-04-23T11:31:00.001-05:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the best "Office" episodes revolve around holidays. As I have learned from actually working in an office, this is because people in offices really really look forward to holidays. It is a small break from the mundane, from doing the same thing over and over.

So it's no wonder that, like the titular holiday of the episode, "Secretary's Day" was a weird little episode with a lot of fun moments. Kinda like your awkward office party.

Andy, being the sentimental schmuck that he is, forced everyone to celebrate Secretary's Day because he knew it would make simple-minded Erin happy. He convinces Michael to go to lunch with her, despite Michael being opposed to the idea. (This is actually the genius conceit of the episode: Michael's dismay at having to hang out with someone as socially-inept as Erin is how everyone else in the world feels about having to be around Michael. Brilliant.)

At the restaurant, Michael mentions Andy's prior engagement to Angela. (Could this be the first time on the show where I'm not mad at Michael for being unable to keep a secret? Why would Andy not tell Erin that - and why would he expect others to keep it on the down-low?) Erin breaks down in the middle of the restaurant, using her hair as a comfort blanket. Back at the office, she throws a piece of cake at Andy and storms out. Pam comforts her with a nice speech about it not being about who you've been with but who you're meant to find. Michael also eases Erin's pain by listing everything terrible about Angela.

In the B plot, Oscar posted a video on YouTube of the Cookie Monster speaking with Kevin's voice. This leads to some amazing/terrible/cruel Cookie Monster/Kevin impressions around the office. Kevin implores Gabe from Sabre's help, so Gabe suspends Jim, Pam and Dwight. Pam and Gabe discover separately and simultaneously that Gabe is not actually allowed to do that, so Jim and Pam enjoy a day off with pay. Meanwhile, Kevin earns his cred back by mocking Gabe's lame-o tendencies as the rest of the office joins in.

Quotes of the Week:

Dwight: Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?

Angela: This is my favorite day!

Michael: Would you mind if I listened to my book on tape? Kind of a bookworm. It is a novelization of the movie "Precious, based on the book Push by Sapphire."

Erin: And then, my last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full-time Taco Bell and... I don't know. I couldn't keep up.

Erin: In the foster home my hair was my room.

Michael: I'll have what she's having!

Dwight: Three squeezes, and I would drain you.

Meredith: This is like the Cadillac of pumps.

The Office: Happy Hour

2010-03-26T14:45:00.002-05:00

Love was in the air in Scranton! Last night's Office did something it used to do so well and fairly often: take a simple situation without much plot and use it to explore these interesting characters at Dunder Mifflin. One of the best examples of this is "The Fire" from season two. The plot is simple: a fire alarm goes off at work and everyone stands outside. It happens all the time in real life. But in the episode, as in real life, we use the time to get to know the co-workers.

Thursday's "Happy Hour" was based on the premise that Oscar wanted to get to know Matt from the warehouse a little better. So he asked Darryl to organize a happy hour with the warehouse workers and the Dunder Mifflin folks.

Since that really is the entire plot, it would be easier to talk about what happened to each couple on the show.

Jim and Pam: Jim used the baby excuse to get out of happy hour, but then learned that Pam was overjoyed at the prospect of seeing someone, anyone who wasn't drooling or crying. She was even thrilled to see Kevin, who spent the episode making baby noises because he thought it would make Pam lactate. (Gross.) Pam brought a friend along with the intent to set her up with Michael. Why? She laughs at everything.

Michael and his dates: Michael was actually hitting it off with Julie until Jim told him it was meant to be a set-up. Then Michael transformed himself into "Date Mike," a jerk with an unbuttoned shirt and backwards hat. When his obnoxious antics attracted attention, the manager of the bar/arcade asked Michael to leave. He told the manager, played by the lovely Amy Pietz of the cancelled-too-soon Aliens in America, that she embarrassed him and that he would have handled the situation differently. They discussed managing styles and actually got along quite well.

Andy and Erin: This Bizarro-world Jim and Pam tried to hide their budding relationship from the rest of the office, but Andy got too jealous seeing Erin trying to flirt with other men. He announced their love from the mic stand at the ticket counter.

Dwight and Isabelle: Dwight and the way-too-attractive-for-Dwight woman from Pam's wedding, Isabelle, continued their flirtation, much to Angela's chagrin. It seems that signing a contract to have a baby with Dwight had her thinking they're a couple again. As Dwight hung out with Isabelle, Angela repeatedly popped up to scare them or be awkward, culminating with Angela telling Isabelle about the contract. On any other show, Isabelle would be appalled and storm off. But here, she whacked Angela on the head like the whack-a-mole game she and Dwight enjoyed earlier. (How did Dwight get so good at that game, you ask? Whacking actual moles, of course.)

I love love love episodes like this one. I've been dying for a light-hearted outing like this to remind me of what I love in these characters. They've been so stressed and occupied lately with having babies and dealing with new management that "Happy Hour" was just what everyone needed.

Quotes of the Week:

Dwight: I love repartee. Usually means there's a battle scene coming.

Michael: I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Michael: (On the book he's writing on management) It is called Somehow I Manage, and there is going to be a picture of me on the cover, shrugging, with my sleeves rolled up.

Heeday: In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

The Office: New Leads

2010-03-19T11:36:00.001-05:00

I could make any number of jokes revolving around the Scranton dump or a pile of garbage, but I'll just come right out and say that last night's Office was lackluster.

The episode revolved around the sales staff being treated like kings by Dunder Mifflin's new owner, Sabre. They were getting all sorts of swag and hefty paychecks, to the jealousy of everyone else in the office. The sales staff wasn't exactly being gracious about it, either. When Sabra mails in important leads for the sales team, Michael withholds them and instead makes Phyllis beg rival Angela for her leads, Jim look for them in a treasure hunt with index card clues, Andy flirt with Erin for his leads, Stanley tolerate Ryan and Kelly to earn his, and Dwight dig through the garbage.

Clearly, this had the potential for hilarity. And some of it was actually funny. I enjoyed Stanley listening to Ryan and Kelly argue about the merit of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, if only because it was a callback to last season when Kelly compared her own family to the Kardashian clan. Andy's nervousness about playing a game of "hot or cold" with Erin was hysterical, especially when Erin had no clue how inappropriate her clues seemed. And anytime Angela and Phyllis are pitted against one another, you can bet I'm laughing.

However, this episode was uncomfortable - and not in the great Office way - because it had many normally endearing characters acting like complete jerks. Phyllis, Stanley and Jim seemed especially cruel and callous regarding their fellow employees' feelings. And Jim kept using having a baby as an excuse for being so rude and work-oriented, which is totally not okay. I think we need to get Pam back in here, stat.

The conflicts were resolved when the sales staff put out a spread of food, which the employees accepted before hearing the sales team offer up a small percentage of their commissions. Whoops. Dwight and Michael resolved their issues over a trip to the dump, which was nice - they really haven't been pals since Charles Minor took over last season. And Andy and Erin shared a kiss on a big pile of garbage.

Quotes of the week:

Dwight: You couldn't handle my undivided attention.

Phyllis: If they don't have an iPod by now, they don't really want one.

Erin: (via text) People love shells from far away beaches.

The Office: St. Patrick's Day

2010-03-12T12:42:00.001-06:00

One of the highlights of each Office season is the Halloween episode where we see each character in their costume. So imagine my delight when Thursday's episode was a St. Patrick's Day themed episode in which everyone was sporting green!

Meredith had a green dress with white flowers in her hair and treated the day like her own Irish Christmas. Kevin had a horrible, horrible green blazer and newsboy cap. Dwight and Jim didn't participate, but it was Angela who was actively protesting the holiday that has come to be associated with drunken revelry.

Jim returned from paternity leave to find that Dwight had taken both Jim and Pam's desk, joined them with his own, and formed a massive MegaDesk. Jim dissembled it, much to Dwight's dismay - he had become hooked on MegaDesk. To retaliate, Dwight made Jim feel guilty for leaving his wife and new baby at home. He told stories of his own childhood distance from his father and played "Cat's In The Cradle" on repeat. But it was Jim who won in the end, per usual, when he assembled the desks into a pyramid of sorts, leaving Dwight to work in a cubby hole underneath the desk pile.

Meanwhile, Michael mistook Sabre CEO Jo's Southern hospitality for genuine friendship and basically did to her what Andy did to Michael in the third season: clumsily inserted himself into her life. At a staff meeting, Jo promotes Darryl for coming up with a great shipping idea and Michael is berated for coming on too strong. Later, Jo intends to pull an all-nighter while the staff is anxious to go out and celebrate St. Patrick's Day - especially after a call from the party scene from Todd Packer. (We haven't seen the Pac Man since season three's "Ben Franklin!") Michael kinda-sorta stands up to Jo and lets the staff go, but really he's just recognizing the hard work his staff puts in.

On the Erin/Andy front, Erin was sent home with a cold of sorts and Andy visited her at her apartment. He uncovered plenty of backstory - mainly that Erin grew up in foster care and now lives with her foster brother. The night ended with a kiss on the cheek - a nice reward when fans remember how long it look for the Jim and Pam relationship to get to that point.

Quotes of the Week:

Andy: Erin and I have our first date tonight. And it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to How I Met Your Mother, that's the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about and you'd better have a good story to tell them.

Darryl: (turning on his computer monitor) Mike, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny television.

The Office: The Delivery

2010-03-05T13:47:00.001-06:00

Oh baby. I'm a die-hard "Office" fan, but I didn't really care for the much-hyped "baby" episode, "The Delivery."

The first half focused on Pam being in labor, but not wanting to go to the hospital yet because the HMO only covers so much time in the hospital. Jim was practically doubled over with worry, but Michael decided to band the office together in an effort to distract Pam from her labor pains.

Once the baby, a girl names Cecilia Marie Halpert, arrives, the episode divded itself between the Halperts getting to know their daughter and the action back at Dunder Mifflin, where a proud Michael tries to start new families within the office by playing matchmaker.

There was a lot to love about this episode. Dwight's entire subplot of finding mold in the Halpert house and making himself at home as he attempts to eradicate it was hilarious. Similarly, his tossing of swords and axes out his car window as he gets pulled over was priceless. If there's one bright, shining beacon about this episode, it's that it marked the return of classic Dwight - as opposed to the revenge-obsessed man we've gotten too much of this season. We also got a spark of hope in the return of the Dwight and Angela pairing - the two are drawing up contracts to have a baby themselves. Watching those two parent a child would be hilarious.

Jenna Fischer and John Krasinski deserve Emmy nominations for their work here. Their genuine concern, sweetness and appropriate cluelessness were real and endearing... if only I could say the same for everyone else.

The main flaw of this episode was that it felt like the writers were novices, newcomers to the show who were unaware of the strong characterization of each individual. Jim and Pam would never, ever let Michael drive them to the hospital, no matter how dire the circumstances. (Remember the season four episode in which Michael willingly drove into a lake?) Michael would never yell at Kevin about not being able to score a girl as pretty as Erin, no matter how obtuse he's being about playing matchmaker.

But many things just felt obvious. Phyllis is fat? Let's depict her with cake all over her face. (Never mind that we've never really had Phyllis depicted as gluttonous before.) Jim and Pam are nervous about being parents? Let's throw in a cold, sarcastic nurse. (That's never been done on a baby-themed episode of a sitcom before.)

Everything that was perfect and true about the wedding episode earlier this season was gone. Instead we got imitation "Office." Ah well. It's over and done with. And the Dwight stuff during this episode was almost enough to make up for what I felt to be a truly weak script.

Quotes of the week:

Pam: Wanna count her fingers and toes again?
Jim: No. Let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.

Dwight: I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got a lot of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.

Kevin: Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.

The Office: Manager and Salesman

2010-02-12T14:51:00.001-06:00

The Office is incredible at wrapping up story issues. Jim's role in the office has been somewhat of a problem for me this season. Obviously, he's got a wife now and a baby on the way, so it would make sense that he would try to move up in the company to provide for his family.

However, as an audience, we grew to love Jim as an adorable slacker who saw how terrible of a manager Michael really was, but rolled with it. So when he became a co-manager with Michael and started making the same bone-headed mistakes, it wasn't funny.. it was actually kinda painful to watch. (And not in the great Office way, either.)

Thursday's episode, "Manager and Salesman," tied this issue up quite nicely.
Sabre, the company owned by Jo Bennett (Kathy Bates) that bought Dunder Mifflin, doesn't have commission caps for salesman. So when Jo insists that either Michael or Jim return to being a salesman, Jim reads the manual and realizes he can make much more money as a salesman and steps down. But Michael discovers what's going on and the two duke it out to prove to Jo who is the least competent manager. Michael spends some time as a salesman, but realizes how used to the perks of being a manager he's become and begs his way back into his own office.

Meanwhile, in order to not appear to like Erin, Andy sends everyone Valentine's Day cards without bothering to read what they say, leading Kelly to believe that Andy's in love with her. Andy tells the entire office that he doesn't "like like" them, much to Erin's delight. (Honestly, though... I'd much rather see Andy with Kelly for awhile. Their dance competition last year in "Cafe Disco" was hilarious. And I'm off and on about Erin.)

Also, Dwight and Ryan think their plotting had something to do with Jim stepping down. Sad.

Quotes of the Week:

Dwight: You know, we really don't announce out loud our sales that much.
Michael: Why not? It's part of the sales experience.
Dwight: It's not really 1992 anymore.

Erin: It's a thinking technique. All the top executives do it. It keeps the brain moving and, "a spinning brain is a working brain."

Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I see-saw. Mose and I see-saw all the time.
Ryan: No, uh, the movie. Did you see the movie Saw.
Dwight: Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a see-saw.

The Office: Sabre

2010-02-05T12:02:00.000-06:00

There comes a point in every episode since Jim and Pam's wedding when I wonder when that baby will finally be delivered. The concept of Michael Scott at the birth of a child is so ripe with hilarity -and we've already been denied the moment earlier in the series when Jan had her sperm-donor baby without telling Michael. So, I'll feel a lot better once that business is taken care of.

But this week's episode, "Sabre," had a lot to offer.

The cold open featured Michael receiving a box full of printers and scanners from Sabre, the company that's purchased Dunder Mifflin. After distributing the gifts like some kind of corporate Oprah, Michael realizes that they were meant for a company representative who's arriving soon and tries to fit everything back in the box, which Dwight notes that Michael opened like an ape.

The employees have been incorrectly pronouncing the company's name as "Sah-bray," which is awkwardly and hilariously exposed in a song set to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A." performed by Andy and Erin meant to welcome the representative. (As soon as they started the song, I started laughing hysterically, knowing what they were about to rhyme with U.S.A.) What a perfect "Office" moment.

Speaking of awkward, Andy and Erin are at a stand-still for now - each thinks the ball is in the other one's court. They're kind of like the mid-point between the sincerity of Jim/Pam and the absurdity of Dwight/Angela. And speaking of Jim and Pam, they spend this episode at an interview for a day care they want to get into... it was one of the weaker B plots the show's had in a while.

Meanwhile, Sabre, a company with Christian Slater in its orientation video, is instituting a lot of changes that prove bewildering to Michael: less vacation time, aluminum water bottles, less Internet time-wasting, etc. Michael does what he always does: goes to former CFO David Wallace for help. Michael finds Wallace at his home, unshaven, in his pajamas and making fluffernutter sandwiches while his song bands on the drums. Michael tries to get advice out of him while in the hot tub, but David only wants to sell Michael on his new idea of a child's vacuum called "Suck It."

Terrified of what David has become without a job, Michael returns to Dunder Mifflin with a new, positive attitude about Sabre and its corporate head honcho, Jo (played by Kathy Bates).

Which brings me to an interesting conundrum: "The Office" is supposed to be operating in our very real world, which is why they don't usually have guest stars unless they're playing themselves - Conan O'Brien in season two, Jack Black and Jessica Alba in season five, etc. So - being that the head of Sabre is played by Kathy Bates, shouldn't someone at least notice that the new boss looks exactly like Kathy Bates? (I still like the casting choice, though.)

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: "There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace. And 'Suck It' is one of 'em."

David Wallace: (singing) "YOU TAKE OUT THE SUCK IT AND YOU SUCK IT!"

Daycare owner: (to Jim and Pam) "Do you ever consider that you might not be as charming as you think you are?"

Review: Avatar

2010-01-05T15:20:00.004-06:00

The problem with writing an AVATAR review a few weeks late is that all comparisons have already been made. Having never seen DANCES WITH WOLVES, I was going to go with FERNGULLY. I first made the comparison upon seeing the trailer for AVATAR and thought I was supremely clever before logging it away for later use. Then my mother echoed the same comparison and I knew I was in trouble.

Nearly every level-headed review of AVATAR I’ve read has made these comparisons and they’re not wrong. AVATAR has a derivative story. Period. I’ve heard arguments from people claiming that other classics like STAR WARS or LORD OF THE RINGS also have “borrowed” stories, but that’s not quite true. Those movies use archetypes to create characters and then place those familiar characters in new locales and stories. But AVATAR has a story that’s been told plenty of times already – many of which have been during my lifetime.

I loved FERNGULLY as a kid. Honestly, it’s probably the reason I recycle and don’t scoff at NBC’s frequent “Green” weeks. So you’d think seeing a movie that is almost note-for-note the same as FERNGULLY would be cool for me. But it wasn’t. Because AVATAR was just too similar, from the rough and tumble American invader to the environmentally-conscious female love interest… from the scary machinations of industry to the glowing, luminescent beauty of a rainforest. All AVATAR needed was a kooky sidekick played by Robin Williams and a cheesy song from Sheena Easton. (Well, AVATAR did have that ballad from Leona Lewis...)

So I was bored to tears by AVATAR’s story. Was I impressed by the visuals? Not so much.

Again, my youthful inexperience betrays me. I was only 8 years old when TOY STORY came out. I’ve grown up with computerized images – to the point that I prefer the exquisitely hand-drawn animation of Hayao Miyazaki or Golden Age Disney pictures. I’ve also grown up playing video games that have become increasingly more realistic-looking. So to me, AVATAR simply looked like an incredible video game.

I don’t mean to detract from James Cameron’s technical achievements. Clearly, AVATAR is a visual accomplishment. But the “game-changer” of cinema? If that’s true, then it’s also the end of cinema as we know it and that makes me sad.

All that aside, how did AVATAR fare for me as a film? When I wasn’t distracted by Sam Worthington’s terrible American accent (Would it have been so detrimental to the story to just let him be English or Australian?), there were moments that I enjoyed, mostly consisting of any moment Zoe Saldana’s Neytiri was onscreen. However, Stephen Lang’s Col. Quaritch is a Frankenstein’s monster of bad military characters from… well, any movie where the military is depicted in a negative light. I found myself laughing out loud at most of his lines, delivered in a convincing machismo, yet unable to rise above the awful writing. “Shut your piehole” and “Let’s boogie?” Seriously?

Giovanni Ribisi is adequate, if a little one-note in his portrayal of a corporate bigwig assigned to the planet Pandora to mine it for resources. Sigourney Weaver is bewildering as the lead scientist on the avatar project. One minute, she’s chain-smoking and storming around the camp, the next she’s reading to Na’vi children. Weaver is fine in the role, but I was too distracted by the plot holes she seemed to stand for. If she’s been there for some time, why don’t the Na’vi have a better grasp of English? Why are they still confused by the idea of an avatar? These questions are unimportant, but when you’ve already heard the main story a million times before, you start to focus on the details.

Overall, AVATAR was billed as a must-see-in-theaters event – and it was. But is it necessarily a great film? Not in my opinion. I certainly don’t believe it deserves to be named our Best Picture this year come Oscar time. The movie looks good, but so did DISTRICT 9, which only cost $30 million to make. Now that’s an achievement.

Review: Nine

2009-12-13T15:32:00.005-06:00

Rob Marshall loves women. And by that, I mean that I can't think of another director who makes women look as good in his films as Rob Marshall does in his. I can't stand Renee Zellweger, but she looks and sounds amazing in CHICAGO. In this way, Marshall suceeds with NINE, his new musical film, adapted from a musical based on a play based on Fellini's 8 1/2.

NINE follows filmmaker Guido Contini (Daniel Day Lewis, THERE WILL BE BLOOD) as he tries to make a successful film after a string of flops. The cast is set, posters have been printed, sets have been built... but Guido's yet to write a script. Meanwhile, he struggles through director's block as he ponders the women in his life: his mother (Sophia Loren), his costume designer (Judi Dench), his muse (Nicole Kidman), the whore he visited as a boy (Fergie), an adoring American Vogue reporter (Kate Hudson), his mistress (Penelope Cruz) and his wife (Marion Cotillard).

That Daniel Day Lewis is marvelous in this role is both expected and unexpected. On the one hand, he's so method that one expects him to be great in anything. On the other hand, who knew he could sing? His Italian accent is tops and his voice is one to be savored. He's not only talented enough to be on Broadway, but enough so to be in a show that requires real chops, like LES MISERABLES or THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

That being said, NINE belongs to the ladies. Marion Cotillard is phenomenally affecting as an actress who gives up her career once she falls for Guido. Penelope Cruz is equally delightful as Guido's insanely sexy mistress who's heartbroken when Guido continues to hide their affair. Loren and Kidman are irritatingly forgettable in a film of charismatic performances, so between Kidman, Loren and Dench, it's Judi who's most memorable. Her humor and down-to-earth practicality grounds Guido in a very real way and her performance of "Folies Bergeres" is a delight.

The real surprises are Fergie and Kate Hudson. Quite honestly, they both benefited from being given the best, most energetic songs in the film - but neither manages to mess up that blessing. They both sing the hell out of their respective songs and revel in Rob Marshall's electric choreography and imagery.

Indeed, Marshall continues to glorify the women in his films. He's a long way from the cookie cutter chorus lines of Busby Berkeley. Each woman in Guido's life has a voice, a look, a song, a dance. Marshall was meant to direct a film like this and I'm thrilled with what he did.

The movie's shortcomings lie in the music, I think. Perhaps there's a reason I hadn't heard of this musical before I heard it was being committed to film. Frankly, it's not very good. I think back to 2002 and remember how enthralled I was by CHICAGO, how I had to rush out after the film and buy the soundtrack, which I proceeded to memorize note for note. There was no such rush with NINE. With the exception of "Be Italian" and "Cinema Italiano" (which doesn't count because it wasn't even in the original musical) I walked out of the theater unable to remember the lyrics to any of the songs. I couldn't recall a single hook or even hum a few bars. It was all lost, and without that energy of fantastic songs, NINE flounders in spite of its spectacular staging.

I was initially disappointed by NINE, but now that I'm aware that I don't enjoy the book as much as I have with other musicals, I'm willing to see it again. There are still thrills to be found in the fine performances, choreography, staging and overall look of the film.

Review: The Princess and the Frog

2009-12-13T14:38:00.008-06:00

The kid in me is leaping for joy right about now. With THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, Disney has revived traditional 2D animation - even if it's just for now.

And for me, it's not about how great the animation looks. I know what Disney Feature Animation can do. And it's not about the racial and social progress that a black princess stands for. The fact that these characters are black doesn't matter in terms of the story. For me, it's that Disney made a quality film that had interesting and likable characters, wonderful songs - and most importantly - a great story.

That's what Pixar has been doing for years. Sure, Pixar's computer generated images are top notch. But it's the stories and the characters that keep people coming back for more. John Lasseter knows that and I think THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG owes its greatness to the blessing that Lasseter is where he is in the Disney company.

Written and directed by Ron Clements and John Musker (THE LITTLE MERMAID, ALADDIN), THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG uses astonishingly beautiful 2D animation to tell the story of Tiana (Anika Noni Rose, DREAMGIRLS), a young woman who shuns romance and frivolous partying in favor of opening a restaurant in her hometown of 1920s New Orleans. After yet another obstacle is placed in her way, she reluctantly agrees to kiss a frog prince (Bruno Campos), who claims he'll give her the money she needs for her restaurant if she breaks the voodoo spell placed on him by the evil Dr. Facilier (Keith David). But because she isn't a princess (yet), Tiana turns into a frog, too, and she and Prince Naveen must journey through the swamps to find someone to break the spell.

This movie, while it lacks some of the magic and undefinable pop that made THE LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN and THE LION KING great, is absolutely good enough to take its place among the Disney classics.

Like any Disney film worth its mouse ears, THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG has musical numbers that are sure to delight. Composer Randy Newman brings life to the film he was born to compose for, as he fills Jazz Age New Orleans with varied styles of jazz that underscore the magic of the story and of the city itself. My only complaint: I wished some of the numbers were longer.

As in the other classics, the vital (some might say obligatory) supporting characters almost steal the show. (What would THE LITTLE MERMAID be without Sebastian the crab or THE LION KING without Timon and Pumbaa?) Here, the crew includes Louis, a alligator who just wants to be a jazz musician, and Ray, a Cajun firefly who believes the evening star to be his soulmate firefly, Evangeline. Ray especially provides some of the funniest and most heartfelt moments of the film.

But it all comes down to the heroes and villains, doesn't it? Dr. Facilier is voiced to menacing perfection by Keith David, who makes up for his character's cloudy motives (He wants to take over New Orleans?) with a great musical number and a fantastic fight to the finish. Bruno Campos sounds like something of a Frenchman parody at first, but as Tiana finds out, it's hard not to fall in love with this prince by the end. (And it should be noted that THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG is as much Naveen's story as it is Tiana's, something rare in the Disney princess films.) Anika Noni Rose is no Jodi Benson or Paige O'Hara as far as delivering lines convincingly goes, but she knocks the songs out of the park.

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG is not the best Disney film or even the best animated film I've seen this year. But it will hold a special place in my heart because watching it made me feel like Disney Feature Animation and John Lasseter were specifically thinking about me and my generation. We grew up during the Disney Renaissance, the second Golden Age. We quote and sing the classics - or the movies that are classics to us. And they tried to give us another one. Maybe it doesn't feel right because we're older, more mature, but THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG succeeded in that it made me smile, dance in my seat and leave the theater singing its songs... and praises.

Community: Comparative Religion

2009-12-11T15:34:00.002-06:00

"Community" had its own part to play in Thursday's fantastic lineup of holiday episodes and, as the opening act for "Parks," "The Office" and "30 Rock," it did beautifully.

Still struggling with the fallout from her divorce, Shirley decided that the study group is like her new family and wanted to celebrate Christmas with them. She was troubled to find that Annie is Jewish, Britta is atheist, Jeff is agnostic, Abed is Muslim, Troy is a Jehovah's Witness and Pierce is in some kind of cult. Shirley claimed to be tolerant, but she was irritatingly dismissive of everyone else's religions and traditions. (Not helping: the dean's insistance on being overly inclusive to the point of dressing as generically non-denominational "Mr. Winter" and riding into the cafeteria saying, "Ho, ho ho... Merry happy!")

Meanwhile, Jeff was focused solely on passing his Spanish final, but was distracted by a bully who's got it out for Abed. After much eye-rolling and an interruption during his bizarre exam from Senor Chang ("True... or false... or none of the above? That doesn't make sense!"), Jeff agreed to fight the bully by the bike racks during Shirley's Christmas party. Shirley was opposed at first, but Britta reminded her that, if they were really a family, they would be outside rooting for Jeff.

The gang joined in the fight and the episode ended with everyone nursing their wounds and celebrating the holidays together. I gave this episode of "Community" the best compliment you can give a show these days: I kept it on my DVR after watching it so I could show it again to any friends or family that stop by this holiday season. Merry happy!

Parks and Recreation: Christmas Scandal

2009-12-11T15:33:00.001-06:00

I suspect the writers of "Parks and Rec" (like the writers of "Community") knew they would have to create a holiday episode to compete with the always-stellar holiday-themed eps of "The Office" and "30 Rock." Well, "Parks and Rec" made a hilarious and heartfelt Christmas episode that holds its own against those tried-and-true comedies.

After performing a cheesy (but also, somehow biting) skit based on the sexual escapades of local councilman Bill Dexhart at the annual Pawnee government Christmas party, Leslie is asked to meet by the councilman. Thinking she's in trouble, she's disgusted to find that he just wants to know where she got her information. (She made it up.) Shortly thereafter, photos of their meeting make it into a Pawnee tabloid, where she's accused of being his newest conquest. (Since when do small towns have tabloids and their own news shows?)

Ron gives Leslie time off to lay low and try to clear her name. The rest of the Parks department tries to do Leslie's job, but they find it daunting. After inadvertently dragging Ann into the scandal, Leslie goes on a local news show to clear their names. Dexhart claims that he and Leslie were involved and he can prove it - she has a mole on her rear end. Leslie promptly moons the host in order to prove that she has no mole and therefore did not sleep with Dexhart.

Meanwhile, April's crush on Andy continued to develop as she tried to figure out what to get him for Christmas by asking him for tips on what to get her gay boyfriend.

The episode had so many great moments, from Tom's dismissal of the radio broadcast of the tree lighting ("Listening to that tree lighting is gonna be so dope.") to Jerry's embarrassment over farting in the Santa suit last year. The best part about this episode was that it stopped to revel in some quiet moments, like when Leslie seemed fed up with Pawnee and considered moving away with Dave, whose Army Reserve unit was called into duty.

"Parks" seems to be following the same successful formula that "The Office" took in its second season: toning down the zany shenanigans and getting to know minor characters.

The Office: Secret Santa

2009-12-10T21:08:00.005-06:00

Only Santa Claus could bring "The Office" out of the depression it found itself in last week. This season, Phyllis finally got her Christmas wish and suited up to play the office Santa at the holiday party. Michael didn't take too kindly to being replaced, calling Phyllis "Tranny Claus" and having Kevin sit on his lap, causing him near paralysis.

Elsewhere, Pam was working on setting Oscar up with the new warehouse guy, Matt. (Pam noted that they were the only two gay guys she knew, so naturally they should be together.) Andy was embarrassed that his "Twelve Days of Christmas" idea for Erin wasn't working out - Erin found her car filled with geese and her cat scratched her up pretty badly in an attempt to kill the turtledoves. (Andy made up for it later with his awesome performance with the tweleve drummers drumming.)

In a childish move, Michael dressed as Jesus in order to outshine Phyllis, much to Toby's chagrin and Angela's initial delight. But in an even more childish move, Michael used the karaoke mic to mock Phyllis and the other employees as their gifts were distributed.

Banished to his office, Michael called David Wallace to complain, but David informed him that Dunder Mifflin was being bought and the executives were being let go. (Why does Wallace tell Michael anything... ever? Look at what happened at the company picnic last year.) Lacking business savvy, Michael assumed this meant they were all fired and decided the Christmas party was a fine time to tell everyone. Jim figured everything out and the entire office sat in on a call with the CFO as he explained that the branch would remain intact.

Quotes of the Week:

Kevin: Michael, it's me. Kevin.

Jim: (to Michael) You can't yell out, "I need this, I need this" as you pin an employee to your lap.

Michael: (as Jesus) Dwight's gonna be able to build himself a friend.

Michael: (as Jesus, to Stanley) Except for cheating on your wife. Adultery's a sin. Look it up in the Bible, people.

Gossip Girl: The Debarted

2009-12-08T13:00:00.002-06:00

Looks like I got my Christmas wish: a Chuck-centric episode of Gossip Girl. The Upper East Side's most dapper tycoon had his heart set on being dramatic during the one-year anniversary of his father's death. This drama included being cold to Blair, drinking himself into a stupor and considering buying a building and thus evicting its current tenants. All the while, the ghost of Bart Bass was looming over Chuck's shoulder, offering bits of not-so-fatherly advice.

Meanwhile, Tripp left Serena at his cottage while he met with Maureen, who intended on using Mr. Van Der Woodsen's letter to blackmail Serena into being Tripp's secret mistress so Maureen could be the Jackie to Serena's Marilyn. None too pleased with either Vanderbilt, Serena demanded to be taken home and Tripp drove into a pack of wolves and wrecked the car. (Seriously.) To cover it up, Maureen and Tripp moved Serena's body (so it looked like she was driving the car) and fled the scene, causing Nate to show up and punch Tripp in the face. Later, Maureen showed the letter to Rufus, who went to talk to an attractive woman from the co-op at a fancy bar. (I honestly doubt anything will come of that.)

When everyone converged on the hospital to visit Serena, Dan told Vanessa how she felt and she dismissed him as being grief-stricken. (Wha?) Jenny and Eric seemed to make up after he tried to undermine her by giving awesome purses to her friends, but who knows how long the pleasantries will last? (I mean, really? That was Eric's plan to take down Queen J? Surely there's more coming.) Plus, I don't think he'll appreciate Jenny's new hobby: selling drugs.

Finally, Chuck needed comfort after being in a hospital made him relive the night of Bart's death. He and Blair made up and she convinced him to finally visit his dad's grave. Upon arrival, Chuck spotted a woman who can only be his mother, laying yellow roses (her favorite) on Bart's grave. Intrigue!

Thoughts:

- I doubt moving someone's body would really convince the cops that there weren't two drivers in the car. There's a small matter of the blood stains and cracked windshield on the passenger side, but whatever. I'm sure the Vanderbilts will succeed in their cover up for now.
- I don't know how I feel about a new woman in Chuck's life. I like having him turn to Blair for emotional comfort - their relationship has become my favorite part of the show.
- I'm glad Nate's finally doing something interesting again. Unlike Dan, who had to deal with Willa, the weirdo drama girl.

What did you think of "The Debarted?" Was it enough to tide you over until Gossip Girl returns in January?

The Office: Scott's Tots

2009-12-04T15:39:00.003-06:00

I have to hope that "Scott's Tots" was a rare miss for The Office. I have to hope it was a small stumble that the writers had to get out of their system. Because last night's episode was hands down the most bizarrely unrealistic episode of The Office to date.

Michael has to confront his shortcomings when he visits students to whom he promised full college tuition. Back at the office, Dwight convinces Jim to instate an Employee of the Month program and then rigs the random selection process so Jim, then Pam, are the winners. (David Wallace forgives and forgets.)

My issues with these plots:

1. When Michael promised all those students that he'd pay their college tuition, no one thought that would be impossible for the regional manager of a paper company? No one - the faculty, students, parents, etc. - really thought twice about how he would possibly come up with that money? And no one ever checked up on him throughout the ten years?

2. Since when did the office turn on Jim, and by association, Pam? The employees know that Dwight hates Jim and it was pretty obvious that he (and Andy) were behind the Employee of the Month mess. Even so, after Jim realized what was happening and vowed not to accept the money and to fix the process, they were still furious. It was completely out of character for Jim not to see through Dwight's scheme and for the office to be so irate at Jim for something that A) wasn't his fault and B) was totally and completely fixable.

... That being said, "Scott's Tots" was uncomfortably hilarious. The intense awkwardness of Michael's dilemma was enough to make anyone squirm (then laugh). His diversion of offering free laptop batteries ("They're lithium!") in place of tuition was hysterical. And Dwight had some great moments, too -especially when he was doing impressions of everyone else at Dunder Mifflin.

So while I urge The Office to stay grounded in the realistic office setting that made it so amusing from the start, I at least applaud them for making me laugh in spite of myself.

Quotes of the Week:

Pam: Michael, this is a terrible, terrible thing you've done. It's terrible. Just... terrible.

Dwight: In an ideal world, I would have all ten fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.

Dwight: Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule.

Michael: I can give you an extra laptop battery. Not everyone took one.

Parks and Recreation: Tom's Divorce

2009-12-04T14:56:00.000-06:00

Parks and Rec keeps getting better and last night's episode might have been the best so far. That's not so surprising when you consider the episode revolved around Tom, easily the series' funniest character. (Maybe tied with Ron.) Aziz Ansari was on top of his game last night in an episode that focused on the divorce between him and his Canadian wife, Wendy, who was only married to him to obtain a Green Card.

Tom was cool with the divorce, but Leslie wasn't convinced, so she planned a fun night at a dinosaur themed restaurant, Jurassic Fork. (Jerry reveals that he's eaten here three times a week for 15 years.) Ron asks Tom if he can start dating Wendy, which makes Tom realize that he might have feelings for his wife. They adjourn to a strip club called The Glitter Factory where even a stripper named Sierra (or Seabiscuit, as Leslie mishears) can't make Tom feel better.

Meanwhile, Andy continues to stalk Ann and Mark, who plays pool with Andy in an attempt to get rid of him. Ultimately, Andy announces his intention to back off. I really couldn't care less. The writers need to give Andy something to do and make Mark and Ann more interesting... or just interesting at all.

Community: The Politics of Human Sexuality

2009-12-04T13:59:00.002-06:00

As Community continues on, it seems to be the quickest show on television. I don't know if I can think of another show that I occasionally have to stop and rewind in order to catch every little one-liner that the talented writers place on top of each other.

That rapid fire wit was in full force in "The Politics of Human Sexuality." Annie helped the dean plan a STD education fair ("Catch knowledge!") and, thanks to help from Britta and Shirley, realized she was happier being repressed. Pierce had an escort for a girlfriend, which ultimately led Jeff to progress in his views of women. And Abed and Troy competed in several games and sport-like events.

This was Troy's weakest episode to date - his desperation to prove he's a better athlete than Abed was irritating, though it did provide some great moments for Abed - like when he waited to start their arm wrestling match until there was better music playing. Britta and Shirley really shined as supporting characters while they helped Annie prepare for the STD fair. And Jeff's realization that he's more interested in intelligent women than he thought was a real step forward for his character.

Now... how long can they keep Jeff and Britta apart, now that Jeff is making efforts to mature?

Review: Fantastic Mr. Fox

2009-11-25T15:39:00.005-06:00

In lieu of a traditional review, I present five fantastic things about FANTASTIC MR. FOX, the new Wes Anderson stop-motion animated film about a fox who can’t decide between being a civilized columnist or a wild animal who steals from farmers.

1. FANTASTIC MR. FOX is funny as all get out. The dialogue is sharp and fast, allowing for adults to laugh along with kids, who are probably laughing more at the appearance of the characters and the cute slapstick and movements. But still, character and plot-based comedy that’s actually hilarious? It just proves that you don’t need fart jokes and topical references to make people laugh.

2. FANTASTIC MR. FOX is one of director Wes Anderson’s best pictures. It is undoubtedly an Anderson film, from the familiar voices to the magnificently detailed look of the backgrounds. The colors are muted, but lush at the same time. Even the little things that are characteristic of Anderson’s directing style are here: characters looking directly at the camera, characters in complete profile, and absolutely incredible music that always serves the film instead of distracting from it.

3. FANTASTIC MR. FOX is a technical achievement. Sure, stop motion has been used in many a Burton or Selick animated film, but those stories are often dark and the stop motion only underscores that creepiness. Here, the use of stop motion makes each character seem like a living stuffed animal – it adds to the real, but cuddly nature of each character. The amount of detail put into each figure is incredible. The sound is mesmerizing as well, thanks to recording much of the dialogue outside or in areas similar to where the characters actually are in the film.

4. FANTASTIC MR. FOX is an excellent adaptation of its source material by Roald Dahl. Many have tried and failed to adapt shorter children’s books. (Just watch the detestable “Cat in the Hat” film. Actually… it’s best if you don’t watch. Just trust me.) But here, Anderson uses the source material and expands on it, while always staying truthful to the book’s themes and tone. The movie also embraces its origins in literature, using amusing titles at the top of the screen to divide scenes into chapters of a sort.

5. FANTASTIC MR. FOX takes delight in its message, rather than ignoring it, saving it for the end, or cramming it down our throats. George Clooney’s Mr. Fox has an existential crisis, pondering why he is a fox and not a horse or a dog. He struggles between being the settled husband and father that Meryl Streep’s Mrs. Fox wants him to be and the wild, chicken stealing, heist planning animal he knows he was born to be. Meanwhile, his son, Jason Schwartzman’s Ash, grows ever frustrated with his outsider status, especially when his perfect cousin Kristofferson comes to visit. The movie offers situations that are easily identifiable and comical.

This movie is like a favorite old sweater – it’s warm, comforting and you know it looks good. Frankly, I can’t remember seeing a more charming movie, and if UP ends up being nominated for Best Picture, I’d love to see FANTASTIC MR. FOX take home the Best Animated Feature prize.

Relive the America Music Awards!

2009-11-23T10:30:00.004-06:00

My thoughts on the AMAs:

1. The female performers far and away outshone the males.

2. Who cares if J. Lo fell down or not? Bottom line: her performance was pretty lame.

3. Green Day put on a pretty cool performance despite still sounding like my favorite band in high school. But then, I'm a sucker for pyrotechnics.

4. Adam Lambert was just inappropriate.

5. Taylor Swift was a gracious winner. Good for her, I say!

Check out my American Music Awards live chat with Anthony Williams and DMN Music Critic Mario Tarradell.

Review: The Blind Side

2009-11-20T16:13:00.004-06:00

From director John Lee Hancock comes THE BLIND SIDE, the real story of Michael Oher of the Baltimore Ravens and how he went from being a homeless teen to a first round NFL draft pick.

But THE BLIND SIDE is less about Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) and more about Leigh Ann Tuohy (Sandra Bullock, THE PROPOSAL), the matriarch of the family that takes the misunderstood Oher into their Memphis home.

Though the rumors of an Oscar nomination have been greatly exaggerated, likely due to the role being a part for the people, Sandra Bullock gives the performance of her life in THE BLIND SIDE. But it's not that does anything particularly extraordinary, acting-wise. What's impressive is Bullock's ability to mimic the mannerisms, fashions, habits and lifestyles of Southern women. I grew up around women like Leigh Ann Tuohy and I have to tell you that Sandra Bullock nailed it. Spot on.

Perhaps what makes people root for Bullock here is that she takes what could be a one-dimensional role of a wealthy woman taking pity on a poor teen and fleshes it out. Her emotions feel real. Her concern feels authentic. Her joy and tears make her feel truly connected to Michael, and so then are we as an audience.

That's what makes this film succeed in spite of more than a few shortcomings. The Tuohy's real son, S.J., is one of the more irritating child characters in a film I've seen in some time. The villains of the film, such as the school administrators who want to fail Michael, are flat, unrealistic and without much motive. The stakes in the film never feel high - obstacles are continually thrown in Michael's path, but are always overcome with simple solutions and without much fuss, depriving the story of the ups and downs that are usually structurally required to make a film interesting. And visually, THE BLIND SIDE is nothing to write home about.

But something about it is winning. Perhaps it's the authenticity that comes with having the actual coaches seeking to recruit Michael appear in the film. It's a definite guy-grabber to have Houston Nutt, Lou Holtz, Nick Saban, Ed Orgeron, Phillip Fulmer and Tommy Tuberville pop up as themselves in the movie. Tuohy makes references to Lawrence Taylor and how he changed the game of football and increased the need for a left tackle, the position Michael happens to play.

But really, the soul of THE BLIND SIDE lies in the incredible source material and Bullock's performance and her ability to connect with that material and sell it.

The Office: Shareholders Meeting

2009-11-20T14:52:00.003-06:00

Last night's episode of The Office was like a Frankenstein's monster, made up of past episodes. Familiar, but funny.

Michael's been invited to be recognized at the bankrupt Dunder Mifflin's annual shareholder's meeting. (This was reminiscent of "Dwight's Speech" from season two.) Astonished at being able to take a limo instead of a town car or van (like in "Business Trip" from season five), Michael invites Andy, Dwight and Oscar along. Michael is shocked to discover that people aren't exactly thrilled with DM, as they protest outside and line up in the meeting to demand answers from the board. Always the showman, Michael promises a plan to get the company back on track, much to the delight of the irate crowd. The board, furious with Michael, sends him away.

Back in Scranton, Jim has trouble proving to the employees that he has as much power as Michael. When Ryan refuses to do even the smallest task, Jim takes action and moves his desk to the broom closet between the bathrooms. (This is similar to when Jim put Dwight's desk in the bathroom in "The Fight" of season two AND when Pam can't get Ryan to make copies in "The Michael Scott Paper Company" from season five.)

Even though its individual parts were all too familiar, the end result was hilarious. The Office still has a gift of producing relevant episodes while still staying true to its characters.

Quotes of the Week:

Oscar: They're such boobs!
Michael: Hate to break it to you, Oscar, but some of us like boobs.
Dwight: Calves. Calves all the way.

Erin: It's like what high schoolers take to prom on TV!

Dwight: If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then every day would be Erntedankfest.

Parks and Recreation: Hunting Trip

2009-11-20T14:48:00.003-06:00

Thursday's episode of Parks and Recreation was another solid entry in a season that has cemented the show as one of the fall's best new comedies. I say "new" because it is drastically funnier than the few episodes presented last season. Parks has really found its footing and that was evident with this episode.

Leslie discovers that the guys are going on their annual hunting trip and demands that the women be allowed to come - except for April, who stays back at the office and bonds with the shoe-shining, piggyback ride-giving Andy.

Leslie's effective attempts at being one of the guys were hysterical. In order to avoid being pantsed, she uses suspenders to connect her bra and jeans. As she goes off with Ron to hunt, she's "ready to discuss college bowl game scenarios." And when Tom accidentally shoots Rom in the back on the head without a license, Leslie takes the fall, resulting in a hilarious montage of explanations she gives the inquiring park ranger.

In short, another funny episode from this up-and-coming comedy.

Community: Environmental Science

2009-11-20T14:45:00.004-06:00

Once I realized last night's episode of Community was going to be a Senor Chang-heavy episode, I thought we were for sure in for a treat. However, with the exception of one hilarious montage, the episode fell flat and was one of the least enjoyable since the series' pilot.

Senor Chang (Ken Jeong of The Hangover) took his marital troubles out on his Spanish students by assigning mounds of homework, so Jeff tries to reunite him with his wife. Shirley enlisted Pierce to help her with a public speaking assignment. Troy and Abed had to find a rat named Fievel for their science class. As separate plotlines? Not funny. But somehow, put together in a montage set to Troy and Abed singing "Somewhere Out There" (a song my mom used to sing to me as a kid, FYI)... comic genius.

But you can't rely on my love of 1980s animation again, Community. Shape up!

Glee Chat!

2009-11-19T15:12:00.002-06:00

Read my chat on last night's episode of Glee, "Ballads," with co-worker Anthony Williams at the DallasNews.com TV Blog!

NBC moves Emmys back to August

2009-11-19T15:09:00.001-06:00

NBC is moving the 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards to Sunday, Aug. 29, 2010, in order to avoid a scheduling conflict with Sunday Night Football and competition on other networks.

This isn't the first time the Emmys have been earlier than September. NBC aired the 2006 Emmys on August 27 that year and the show was the highest-rated Emmy telecast in the past four years.

America's Next Top Model is...

2009-11-19T15:08:00.000-06:00

It's odd when a finale can be shocking and yet completely without surprise. Throughout the 13th season of ANTM, we've watched "petite" models compete against each other each week. And every week, redhead Nicole Fox has seemed like the obvious frontrunner. So a tip of the hat to the editors this week, as they made it seem (if only for a minute or two) that Laura Kirkpatrick might actually steal the title.

But, alas, it was not to be so. After having it pounded into our heads that Nicole lacks a personality (She does! It's just a quiet, weird personality!), the girls did their Cover Girl photo shoot/commercial. Laura dealt with her dyslexia yet again, but Nicole also had issues enunciating. Later, the girls did their Seventeen magazine photo shoot and got a one-on-one chat with Tyra.

In the runway show, Laura seemed like she might prevail in the stomp-down as Nicole hunched and clomped her way down the catwalk. But the judges later decided that it might work as a "signature" walk for her. Huh.

In the end, Nicole's stunning photos won out and she was named America's Next Top (Petite) Model. I have to ask: why are we calling her a petite model? I know she's 5 ft. 7 in., which is shorter than the average model, but it was the maximum height limit for this season. Plus, cycle two winner Eva Pigford was only 5 ft. 6 in. and she didn't have to compete in any special "petite" cycle. I call shenanigans, Tyra!

The Office: Murder

2009-11-12T20:47:00.004-06:00

Previously on “The Office:” Michael dumped Pam’s mom and Pam slapped Michael. Jim and Michael somewhat resolved their issues after Michael fell in a koi pond. Andy wanted to pursue a relationship with Erin the receptionist and Dwight was still gunning for Jim’s office. Caught up? Let’s go!

We open on Dwight’s annual martial arts seminar. Jim makes the note that Dwight is his own worthy adversary, so Dwight starts fighting himself.

After the credits, the office reads rumors about a possible Dunder Mifflin bankruptcy. (Dwight offers everyone jobs as human scarecrows at Schrute Farms.) Michael freaks out and decides to distract the employees with a role-playing mystery murder theater. Jim is powerless to stop him since he previously quashed Mike’s idea of having hamsters running around the office in tubes.

After everyone’s been handed their characters, Creed arrives late and thinks he’s actually wanted for murder. Andy tries to ask out Erin, but they both get confused about whether they or their characters are going out. Once the case is over, Michael tries to keep the mystery open and refuses to speak in his normal voice.

Jim gets fed up and yells at Michael before answering a call from David Wallace, who reveals that the company is likely to be out of money by the end of the year. Jim doesn’t tell the employees, but instead helps Michael continue the murder mystery.

Quotes of the Week:

Kevin: No way. Last time, you pulled my pants down and tried to chock me with my shoelace.

Michael: Nope. Just poopin’. You know how I be.

Jim: Hey, I’m wondering if this is, uh, a terrible idea.

Kevin: Ooh, now do the Swedish Chef!
Andy: Not familiar. What provence is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass!

Andy: I’m a little worried I might have asked out Naughty Nellie and not Erin. Which would be a whole lot less appealing because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.

In other news: Ryan continues to dress like a hipster. Andy has a mastery of Southern accents, while Pam and Oscar do not.

This was a great episode that used a familiar game (I was once the murderer and the owner of a brothel in one such game, dear readers!) to deal with a common office problem nowadays: going under. It was a nice break for “The Office” to get back to its roots of dealing with office life, not necessarily the lives of each employee. In the second season, the show drew such humor and drama from impending layoffs, so this is a relevant sixth season update. Kudos!

Next week on “The Office:” In “Shareholder Meeting,” Michael gets excited when he’s invited by David Wallace to be honored on stage at the Dunder Mifflin shareholder meeting in New York, and he brings Andy, Dwight and Oscar along for the ride. Meanwhile, Jim has a hard time getting Ryan to do work.

Heads up, Officers - starting next week, these recaps will be a bit shorter and are likely to appear on Friday morning instead of 30 minutes after the episode airs. The reason for this is that I'll be recapping more shows soon! Huzzah!

The Office: Double Date

2009-11-05T21:04:00.005-06:00

Sure, the drama between Michael and Jim was temporarily resolved last week thanks to a certain koi pond, but there’s still lingering tension between Michael and Pam. Michael is still dating Pam’s mom, so what could be worse than a double date? Let’s find out, “Office” fans.

We open on Dwight bringing everyone bagels so they’ll all “owe him one” when he tries to dethrone Jim. Later on, Dwight struggles with doing favors for Andy because Andy always immediately returns favors. The two engage in a battle of courtesy!

After the credits, Michael takes Jim, Pam, and Pam’s mom, Helene, out to lunch. Pam tries to get out of it with a fake sales call, but Jim puts a stop to that. (This totally reminded me of season four’s “Dinner Party,” when Jim tried to pretend his apartment was flooded/on fire to escape Michael’s condo.)

The lunch reveals some complications in Michael’s relationship with Helene. He realizes her real age and the fact that she’s about to be a grandmother. Helene, Pam, and Jim gush over Michael’s romantic scrapbook birthday gift, but Michael keeps trying to downplay his now dwindling feelings for Pam’s mom.

During birthday cake, Michael breaks up with Helene. Knowing Pam is angry at him, Michael bribes Pam with either a raise or a free punch, so Pam plans to hit Michael in the parking lot. Toby gives Pam punching lessons and thus creates the funniest moment of the episode.

When it comes down to it, Michael apologizes and Pam relents… but then Michael points out that Helene was the one who came on to him, so Pam slaps him. (It was way better than the Kelly slap from season one. Just saying.) Michael limps away with Dwight following close behind.

Quotes of the Week:

Andy: You do me a favor? WHAM. Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

Jim: Burn. Burn on you. And a little on me, too.

Pam: I have the worst attitude of any person here.

Dwight: Why are you limping?

Bonus points: Andy writing “BienvenNEATo” on the dry erase board, Ryan’s photography (which looks like the shots from any Intro to Photography class), and Jim’s toying with Michael before the fight.

I deem this week’s MVP to be Steve Carell as Michael Gary Scott. His horror at Helene’s age and his resolution of the Pam struggle was hilarious and very true to Michael’s character.

This episode wasn’t much in the way of gut-busting laughs, but it wrapped up the Pam/Michael drama nicely. Mostly, it made me miss Amy Ryan as Holly. When, oh when will she return? Speaking of returns, the storyline of Dwight and Andy returning favors was funny, but went on for a little too long on one note. And do we think Dwight will ever give up on taking down Jim? I hope so… it’s not terribly funny.

Next week on the “The Office:” In “Murder,” Michael’s world is rocked by troubling rumors about Dunder Mifflin. He forces the office into a day of strange diversions, upsetting Jim and leading others to wonder if Michael has gone insane. Meanwhile, Andy finds that his chief obstacle in courting Erin is his own awkwardness.

The Office: Koi Pond

2009-10-29T20:58:00.007-05:00

I never thought I’d look forward to any seasonal television other than Christmas episodes of sitcoms and animated series, but “The Office” has made me look forward to its Halloween episode every year.

We open on a haunted house that Michael has set up in the warehouse for the kids of the office park. Michael tries to share an anti-suicide message with the kiddos before offering them candy.

After the credits, Michael and Jim attend an important business meeting together (much to Jim’s chagrin) and Michael comes back soaking wet. Turns out, he fell into a koi pond. The office mercilessly mocks Michael, who holds sensitivity training and is accused of being a hypocrite. Jim teaches Michael how to make fun of himself, but Mike takes it a little too far and mocks himself to tears.

Later, as the employees get their hands on the security tape and watch the video of Michael falling, they see that Jim leaned back, allowing Michael to fall. The employees turn to gently mocking Jim as Michael and Jim reconcile for now.

Elsewhere, as Pam and Andy have to make cold calls together, they’re mistaken for a married couple. Pam vehemently denies it, which hurts Andy’s feelings. He strikes back at the next meeting by embarrassing Pam. The animosity causes them to lose sales, so they start to embrace the couple image, which means Andy getting uncomfortably close to Pam’s pregnant stomach. As they talk on the way home, Andy reveals his feelings for Erin, the new receptionist.

Costume list:
Darryl: “Gangster” pumpkin
Michael: D*** in a Box
Jim: Facebook
Angela: Black widow
Dwight: Jigsaw
Erin: Fiona from “Shrek”
Kevin: Paul Blart
Kelly: Leeloo from “The Fifth Element”
Oscar: Sarah Palin
Creed: Dracula
Ryan: Edward Cullen from “Twilight”
Andy: Michael Jackson
Meredith: Hobo

Quotes of the Week:

Darryl: Label yourself or take what you get.

Darryl: You’re not as scary as ol’ Bookface over there.
Jim: Yes, I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.

Andy: Except it was going to resolve the melody. Now my head hurts. It feels like I held in a sneeze.

Michael: I’m not going to bump! I’m not going to bump!

Jim: Truthfully, it’s not the way he fell in, but how long it took him to get out.

Dwight: They’re mocking you with wordplay!

Creed: Did you find Nemo?
Michael: I can name Pixar movies, too. “Toy Story!”
Oscar: Don’t you mean Koi Story?

Michael: I’m not usually the butt of jokes. I’m usually the face of jokes. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond. Then he’d have to wear my suit and he’d look… damn it, he’d still look good.

Bonus points: A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo from Mose Schrute, Ryan’s glasses (last week, he had that fedora), Dwight’s insecurity about his nose, and Michael’s story about buying a phone.

I deem this week’s MVP to be Craig Robinson as Darryl Philbin. Even though he was only in the cold open, his deadpan delivery as he led the kids through the warehouse was hilarious.

I’m gonna say it: “Koi Pond” was the best episode of the season. I knew the episode wouldn’t disappoint because it was the Halloween episode – so I was nervous when it wasn’t Halloween after the credits. But this episode really nailed it by Nard Dog standards. The office dealing with Michael’s issues is always a great source of comedy on the show. Just watch “Grief Counseling” from season three if you don’t believe me. And we saw a return to what I referred to last week as “Classic Dwight:” weird and paranoid but not too clever.

The conflict between Jim and Michael seems to be the main source of drama this season, which makes sense since something had to take the place of Jim and Pam’s now-resolved tension. I like it, but I hope we turn to something else soon.

Next week on “The Office:” In “Double Date,” Jim and Pam are out of excuses so they have no choice but to go out with Michael and Helene. Meanwhile, Dwight is strangely doing nice things for everyone in the office.

Review: THIS IS IT

2009-10-28T14:11:00.002-05:00

Rating: 8/10
Director: Kenny Ortega

I haven’t missed Michael Jackson. I’m too young to have grown up watching him perform, so all I knew of him was his phenomenal music and the creepy way he’s portrayed in the media. Since he died, the media has focused on what’s happening with his kids and which of his family members stands to gain an inheritance. For every brief clip they showed of Michael performing, they showed hours of off-putting interviews and replays of bizarre moments in his life. Even his televised memorial had too many moments that rang false. So I haven’t really been given the chance to appreciate the man and what he meant to music. Until THIS IS IT.

Edited from over 100 hours of footage, THIS IS IT shows us the Michael Jackson we want to remember. It shows us the compassionate artist, not the weirdo in handcuffs. Every moment on film is onstage or backstage during concert preparations – you won’t find cloying moments of crying family members or paparazzi chasing the King of Pop. Instead, we’re given Michael at his finest: when he’s performing.

Viewers will be surprised at how much Michael was involved with the concert production process. He’s there when they cast the backup dancers, who provide some nice commentary throughout the film. He’s there at band rehearsals, making sure each note is perfect. He’s there at the film studios where footage that would be used as background visuals was shot. He had a hand in every aspect of the production, which makes you realize how meticulous about his music he was.

Even more surprising is how funny Michael could be. Many moments had the audience, who were prepared for a more somber film, laughing out loud. When Michael’s discussing the instrumentation of a song with the music director, he emphasizes that he wants the song to sounds like the original because that’s what the fans love. The director agrees, but adds that he’s open to putting more “booty” in it and asks Michael if he knows what that means. Michael begins to walk away, then turns around and says, “I know exactly what you meant … I like that.”

There are these small little moments in the film that make it come alive. As Michael finishes one of the more complicated numbers, the spotlight begins to fade as you see a smile slowly spread across his face. Later, as he’s on the cherry picker during rehearsal, he laughs about the picker being on the low setting, then notices someone beneath him and says hi. And throughout the movie, viewers will notice that he can be eccentric about letting his music and certain moments in the concert “simmer” or “sizzle.”

When you’re watching THIS IS IT, all the frightening images of post-surgery Michael and all the disturbing interviews and accusations simply melt away. Despite being a perfectionist, he treats the crew with compassion and patience. The artistic choices that he makes during the concert preparation are brilliant. He sings and dances with the skill of someone much younger than his 50 years. In short, THIS IS IT shows us the Michael that we always wanted to memorialize: the musical genius. I miss him a lot more now.

Originally published at gordon and the whale dot com.

The Office: The Lover

2009-10-22T20:53:00.006-05:00

Last week’s “Mafia” was an offer we could easily refuse. Hopefully this week’s journey into DunderMifflinLand will have a little more pizzazz. Let’s go!

Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon with candy, which I think is more than generous. Michael pretends to be a character named Blind Guy McSqueezy… sigh.

After the theme song, Michael reveals to Jim that he’s been fooling around with Pam’s mom. Understandably, Jim flips out and wants to keep the news from Pam. As the couple presents Michael with some rum from Puerto Rico, Pam eagerly wants to know who Michael has dinner plans with. Pam runs out screaming.

Later, Michael has a meeting about volunteerism and caring about the community at which Pam flips out and tells Michael what she really thinks about him. The office is horrified when they discover the news about Michael and Pam’s mom, but Michael makes an emotional appeal. Pam is still furious, spurring a showdown between her and Michael.

The situation gets so bad that Michael turns to Toby for some conflict resolution. That doesn’t work, so Michael and Pam have a screaming match in the kitchen that goes nowhere.

Meanwhile, Dwight plants a bug in a wooden mallard to be placed in Jim’s office. Jim outsmarts Dwight by first playing an opera loudly and then giving the duck to Kelly. As punishment, Jim makes Dwight clean Pam’s car. Jim tells Pam that Dwight did it to make her feel better and then cheers her up by reminiscing about their honeymoon.

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: Good, a pact. Although I may have to break it tonight when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner.

Michael: I think you’re underestimating Pam. I think, more than anything, she wants me to be happy.
Jim: Not more than anything.

Michael: I’m gonna start dating her even harder.

I deem this week’s MVP to be Jenna Fischer as Pam. Honorable mention goes to Leslie David Baker as Stanley. He made an art of being a background character in this episode. Every facial expression was priceless.

Bonus points for: Creed’s tears during the opera, Ryan’s fedora and Jim and Pam’s honeymoon inside jokes. Also, did anyone else notice there were two bleeps this week due to profanity? I don't think we've ever had more than one.

This was a much more solid episode than last week’s outing. I guess Jim and Pam kinda hold the office together – which is why it was so great to see the once mild-mannered Pam go ballistic. It was also nice to see Jim working on being a good husband and trying to support Pam, whether through inside jokes or hot chocolate.

Are we to assume that Pam’s mom is collapsing in on herself like a dying star like Jan once did by dating Michael? It’s easy to understand Pam’s disbelief and hysteria when you’ve known Michael as long as she has.

As for the Dwight subplot, I liked the idea of him bugging Jim’s office. That’s classic Dwight. But him ultimately outsmarting Jim was not only creepy, but out of character – something that’s been a theme for Dwight since late last season. He’s become less dorky and more creepy… and a little clever. I guess he’d learn a thing or two after awhile, but his snarky comments just ring untrue for me. Bring back classic Dwight.

Next week on “The Office:” In “Koi Pond,” it’s Halloween and the office plans a haunted house for the children in the community. And at an important business meeting, Michael falls into a koi pond. Meanwhile, Pam and Andy go cold calling to drum up more sales.

The Office: Mafia

2009-10-15T20:52:00.008-05:00

I have to hand it to “The Office” for having the big wedding episode in the middle of the season and not as a season finale or even during sweeps. That’s extra awesome for Dunder Mifflin fans like us because we can jump right back into crazy office shenanigans this week. Let’s go!

We open on a typical conference room meeting: Michael teaching, Toby correcting, etc. Ryan tells Michael to write a book if he knows so much about business. This later proves difficult for Michael.

After the shortened theme song, a man is waiting at Dunder Mifflin to sell insurance to Michael. Dwight and Andy suspect the salesman is a mob man. (Oscar notes that, since Pam and Jim are gone, the voices of reason are becoming fewer.)

Dwight and Andy accompany Michael to meet the man for lunch. Andy wears a mechanic’s disguise so as not to attract attention to his weapon, a tire iron. (I loved the hilarious touch of Andy wearing his Cornell hat.) But Andy is called away when a woman needs to jump start her car. Naturally, he makes the car explode a little bit.

Mike signs with the insurance guy, then panics. He calls Jim, who pretends to be lost in the Bermuda Triangle. Oscar tells him to just cancel, but Michael seems to think it can’t be that easy. Dwight and Andy tell Michael the salesman is not part of the mob (which, of course, he’s not), so he yells at the guy and backs out of the deal.

Meanwhile, Kevin has taken over Jim’s office to literally fart around in. He gets a call about someone using Jim’s credit card in Puerto Rico, and accidentally gets a hold put on Jim’s card. Oscar tells Kevin that what he did counts as fraud. By the end of the episode, Jim and Pam are dealing with the cancelled credit card, but have no idea it is Kevin’s fault.

Quotes of the Week:

Andy: When somebody threatens you, you need to give in right away.

Kevin: (to Oscar) Oh, you would love jail.

Michael: It’s only the price of a cup of coffee an hour.

Dwight: (to Andy) We let Michael down and it’s 85 percent your fault.

Michael: If there’s one thing I hate more than the mafia, it’s liars. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. And bury them in my yard.

I deem this week’s MVP to be Ed Helms as Andy Bernard. That mechanic bit… brilliant.

Obviously, this episode was somewhat of a letdown after last week. But even without last week’s wedding, I think this episode was one of the weaker ones of the season so far. The mob concept was funny, but I much prefer episodes that involve the entire office. And frankly, the hijinks were carried by Andy, and to a lesser extent, Dwight. Seeing Michael as a pushover wasn’t as much fun as it sounds. However, I thought the Kevin subplot was hilarious.

Next week on “The Office:” In “The Lover,” Michael shocks Jim and Pam when he reveals the identity of the new woman he has been dating. Dwight apologizes to Jim for years of torment with a strange peace offering.

The Office: Niagara

2009-10-08T21:21:00.008-05:00

It’s here, “Office” fans: the Jim and Pam wedding that’s been five seasons in the making. Did television’s cutest couple indeed tie the knot? Did Michael manage to ruin it somehow? What’s with the wig Kevin’s been sporting in the promos? Answers to all this and more in my Jam Wedding Recap Extravaganza! Mazel tov!

We open on Pam making a plea to the office to wear less perfume and eat less smelly lunches. Dwight insists on peeling eggs and Pam throws up, setting off a chain reaction of vomiting in the office. The grossest cold open ever… so perfect.

After the credits, the employees are in a meeting, learning the dos and don’ts of going to the wedding. Among the don’ts: Firecrackers and telling any of the other guests about Pam being pregnant. Michael warns everyone not to embarrass him because he plans on picking up women at the celebration.

At the rehearsal dinner, Jim starts the amazing toast he’s prepared… and accidentally mentions Pam’s pregnancy. Michael tries to gloss over it by talking about “accidents” and Jim and Pam living together. Pam’s grandmother is horrified and wants to leave.

Later, Dwight woos the ladies with his horse stories while Andy throws a real “Bernard throwdown” in his room just before tearing his scrotum while dancing. Pam has to take Andy to the hospital because Michael’s gotten Jim drunk.

The next morning, Kevin’s still trying to decide whether or not to wear a hairpiece and is dealing with the destruction of his shoes. (He ultimately wears the hairpiece and dons Kleenex boxes on his feet.) Michael is baffled by Dwight having scored with an attractive bridesmaid.

A quiet Jim and Pam moment finally comes when, after tearing her veil, Pam breaks down in tears. To make her feel better, Jim cuts his tie in half. The couple commiserates about all of the stress and then bolts from the church. They return as Michael and Pam’s mom are hitting it off and before the guests can steal back their gifts.

Then… the wedding party imitates that ridiculous JK Wedding Dance video from YouTube while it’s revealed through flashback that Jim and Pam already got married on a boat next to Niagara Falls just before coming back to the church. Perfect.

Quotes of the Week:

Pam: We should have hired a professional to take the mental pictures.

Dwight: Hello. My name is Dwight Schrute. If you’re listening to this, you’re a lucky woman that Michael has seduced.

Andy: I’ll break in the bed.
Pam: I’m going to need the name and cell phone number of the housekeeper responsible for changing the sheets.

Oscar: You thought I was dating HIM? What the hell is wrong with you?

Michael: I have another one of them in the nude. But that one is for me.

I deem this week’s MVPs to be John Krasinski as Jim and Jenna Fischer as Pam.

Obviously, I was looking forward to this episode on a number of levels. One of which is that it’s simply good television and a step forward for comedy shows. (Check out this article that says so better than I can.) Another is that I’ve simply grown attached to Jim and Pam as fully-fleshed out and well-written characters. Not to mention that they’re easy to identify with, especially for me, as one half of a recently married Jam couple.

So did the episode live up to my expectations? Absolutely. “The Office” often suffers in the hour-long format, but I think this was their strongest hour-long yet. (Yes, even better than “A Benihana Christmas.”) Writers Greg Daniels and Mindy Kaling did an incredible job of spreading the comedy out among the cast and making the stress and chaos of a wedding realistic. (Well, except maybe for Andy’s injury… but I’d never want that cut out.)

Most importantly, the saga of Jim and Pam took another real, heartwarming, adorable step forward. I couldn’t have imagined anything more perfectly suited to these character’s arcs.

Next week on “The Office:” In “Mafia,” Michael meets with an insurance salesman who visits the office and is later convinced by Dwight and Andy that he is part of the Mafia. Erin accidentally ruins Pam’s painting.

Review: Capitalism: A Love Story

2009-10-01T23:50:00.001-05:00

Rating: 7/10
Director: Michael Moore

You already know if you’re going to see this movie. You either like Michael Moore or you don’t. You either appreciate his talent for exposing corruption and swaying opinion or you think he’s a chubby Communist. If you fall into the former category of documentary enthusiasts, you won’t be disappointed by CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY.

This time around, Moore tackles big business, economic corruption, and Wall Street.
Using montages and stills from the sunny 1950s, Moore shows the audience when capitalism seemed to be working and how, suddenly, it wasn’t.

He pinpoints the exact moment of America’s economic downturn as the moment we elected Reagan. One of the more uncomfortable parts of the film is when Moore shows what the greed of that era has done to businesses today. He often returns to Flint, Michigan, his hometown, as an example of how corporate greed ruined an entire city.

One discouraging section of the film involves time spent with airline pilots. Moore discovers that many pilots have to work second jobs as dog walkers and waitresses because they make less than $20,000 a year.

In his films, Moore always has one example that sticks with you. In this film, he finds families who have lost a loved one, only to discover that the company they worked for took an insurance policy out on them and profited from their departed family member’s death. Moore sits with one man who lost his wife and discovered that her employer, Wal-Mart, had taken out one of these “dead peasant” policies on her, making them a tidy profit when she passed.

Another woman is told that her late husband’s company made over $5 million off of his death. Obviously, the families never see this money. (Moore makes the point that you’re probably worth more to your company dead than alive.) Moore lists several companies that take out such policies on their employees, including AT&T, Hershey, CitiBank, Bank of America, American Express, and more. Yikes.

The film even uses religion and interviews with clergymen to point out that capitalism is completely against the teachings of Christianity, the one system aside from capitalism that American citizens are assumed to hold dear.

As with all of his films, Moore narrates the unsettling and disturbing images onscreen with a calm sarcasm. Also per usual, he pulls some kind of big stunt that’s mostly for visual effect and humor. Here, he tries to make a citizen’s arrest of the banks that received buyouts earlier this year. He refers to what happened as a robbery. Even Moore seems to realize that it’s silly and instead makes a call to action, encouraging viewers to revolt as well.

While Moore makes compelling points, he may be too specific in calling out the concept of capitalism as a whole. One gets the sense that the real enemy is greed, not the free enterprise system.

Still, Moore uses harrowing visuals and a stunningly well-utilized soundtrack to convince you that, even if he’s not completely right, it’s necessary to question what’s going on in America today.

Also posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

The Office: The Promotion

2009-10-01T20:53:00.012-05:00

Happy Thursday, Dunder Mifflinites! I’ve been seeing those Jim & Pam wedding promos all week, and I don’t know about you, but I’m psyched. But that’s next week. Let’s see how well Dwight’s recovering from his shock last week at finding Jim has become a co-manager. Here we go!

We open on Dwight trying to get an expense report signed. He takes it to Michael, who says he’s not the “big picture” guy. Jim handles the day-to-day items now, but Jim needs Dwight to say please. Dwight tries to complain to Michael, who sends him to Jim. And the fun begins.

After the credits, the employees are already noticing that having two leaders in the office is a little awkward. Jim tries to talk to Michael about the numerous non-essential meetings they hold. Michael tries to hold secret conference room meetings in his office.

Wallace calls and says the company can’t give raises that match what the employees got last year. Michael and Jim have to decide how to distribute the bonus. Jim makes pro and con lists for their options, but Michael only calls him a nerd and nay says every idea. Jim finally cracks and tells Michael some of his many weaknesses as a manager.

Jim suggests only giving raises to the sales staff, but the other employees kill that idea pretty darn quick. Michael and Jim try to evaluate the staff for performance based raises, but the staff feels demeaned. Eventually, a discouraged Michael and Jim bond in Jim’s new office* while drinking out of their “World’s Best Boss” mugs.

Elsewhere, Pam feels awkward about asking for money instead of gifts. (For the record, it IS awkward. But helpful.) Kevin happily writes Pam a check.

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: Jim. James. Jimothy.

Michael: I don’t see you anymore. All I see is how big and gross the pores on your nose are.

Creed: Hey –why haven’t we ever…
Meredith: We have.

Kevin: In the memo line, I’m gonna write “To love’s eternal glory.”

Michael: We are going to go in here and we are not coming out until we do.

Pam: Why aren’t there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?

I deem this week’s MVP to be John Krasinski as Jim Halpert.

How amazing was it to see someone finally tell Michael what we’ve all known about him for years? Jim telling Michael that he is incapable of making decisions, especially difficult ones, was enough of a big moment to make me say “Whoa” out loud.

I loved Dwight trying to get the employees to revolt against Jim, but some of the employee reactions (particularly from Phyllis) were too over the top. “The Office” usually does a good job at mixing the odd/zany/kooky with the reality of the workplace, but Phyllis screaming through a door at Michael was ridiculous –especially when Phyllis doesn’t even need the money, since she’s married to Bob Vance.

*WHERE did Jim’s office come from? I’m embarrassed to admit it, but after a heated debate this summer, my husband and I drew a floorplan of Dunder Mifflin to figure out where exactly everyone sits in relation to everyone else. Jim’s office really threw us. We suspect it was built where Martin the Convict used to sit. Thoughts?

Next week on “The Office:” In “Niagara,” the office travels to Niagara Falls to celebrate Jim and Pam’s wedding under strict orders not to mention Pam’s pregnancy. Michael, Dwight, and Andy all want to hook up with guests at the wedding and Michael and Dwight meet twins.

The Office: The Meeting

2009-09-24T20:49:00.003-05:00

Hey there, gossip girls. Had enough of last week’s rumor-mongering at Dunder Mifflin? Well, it’s a new week with new shenanigans on “The Office.” Let’s go!

The episode, “The Meeting,” opens on a meeting between Oscar and Michael. Michael tells Oscar he’s going in for a colonoscopy and wants to know how it might feel, asks how to make it pleasant, whether he should have a safe word, etc. Poor Oscar.

After the credits, we find David Wallace at the office to meet with Jim, which drives Michael insane with curiosity. Michael’s been stressed lately, what with the Buffalo branch closing and the Scranton branch taking on their clients. Michael has Andy wheel him into the meeting under a makeshift cheese cart. Wow.

Turns out, Jim suggested to Wallace that Michael be promoted and Jim would take over Michael’s job. But before Michael knows this, he’s intimidated enough to badmouth Jim using some of Toby’s old complaint reports. Jim confronts Michael about it, who tries to go back on what he said. End result: Jim and Michael now share the position of manager!

In warehouse news, Darryl is on crutches discussing a worker’s compensation issue with Toby. Dwight convinces Toby to investigate Darryl’s claims – and the unlikely duo finds a common interest in trains. They mistake a black woman not on crutches for Darryl, yell at him, see the real Darryl, then speed off and run into some garbage cans. Eventually, Dwight files a report against Darryl for fraud and Darryl files a complaint against Dwight for sexual harassment of his sister.

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: You and Jim are really close.
Pam: Yeah, I think the pregnancy brought us together.

Michael: If you lie to me right now, your baby will come out a liar.

Dwight: When have you known Darryl rush to do anything other than rush up here for birthday cake?

Michael: Jim is like Big Bird. He is tall, yellow, and very nice. But when I put him in charge… Big Bird doesn’t make the big decisions.

Darryl: Why would you think a lady is me?
Dwight: …Are you serious? You look exactly alike.

Michael: Toby Flenderson is doing drugs.

And I deem this week’s MVP to be Paul Lieberstein as Toby Flenderson.

I think this episode was much snappier than last week’s. I loved the new paring of Dwight and Toby – it’s amazing when a show can be around for six seasons and still think of new things to do with the characters that don’t seem forced at all.

Dwight’s horrified scream at the end of the episode was the breaking point for me – hilarious. But I also loved Toby yelling out the window of Dwight’s car. And did anyone notice that Andy was wearing the most ridiculous tie in the world? What about you? What did you like/dislike/etc?

Next week on “The Office:” In “The Promotion,” David Wallace breaks the bad news that not everyone will get a raise this year. Dwight reaches his breaking point with Jim and looks to the rest of the office for allies. Pam would like cash instead of wedding gifts.

Review: The Informant!

2009-09-17T23:58:00.001-05:00

Rating: 6/10

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Writer: Scott Z. Burns (screenplay) and Kurt Eichenwald (book)
Cast: Matt Damon, Scott Bakula, Joel McHale

As a film, THE INFORMANT! is as tough to nail down as its main character’s ever changing story – and maybe that’s on purpose. Is it a comedy? Sometimes. A drama? That, too. But it makes for a good time and that’s what counts.

Matt Damon packs on the pounds to play Mark Whitacre, a rising biochemist/vice president who suddenly turns whistleblower on his agricultural company’s price fixing policies. Blessed and cursed with an overactive imagination, Mark sees himself as a hero of the common man but also expects to be given a hefty promotion despite his snitching ways.

Unfortunately for the FBI agents played by Scott Bakula and Joel McHale, Mark continually changes his story over the course of two years, making impossible to figure out what’s true and false about his claims.

THE INFORMANT! is worth seeing just because it’s so darn beautiful. Director Steven Soderbergh has made this 1990s plot look ripped from the 1970s with a lush, warm lighting scheme. His style here is similar to the OCEAN’S films – slick and captivating – but with the grit of ERIN BROCKOVICH.

The music in the film is almost a character onto itself. Academy Award winner Marvin Hamlisch is the guy to thank for the almost jaunty soundtrack of the movie. There are moments where you want to be angry at Mark’s company or even at Mark … but then you hear the happy-go-lucky score and you can’t help but chuckle.

But even if the movie looked average and the score wasn’t much to write home about, THE INFORMANT! is fun to watch because of Matt Damon. He plays Mark like that kid you knew in elementary school who always claimed to have the best story. If you said you saw a snake on the playground, that kid would tell you about the time his uncle was eaten by an anaconda. Mark is that guy who invents stories to make himself more interesting and appealing. Damon nails his personality – likeable but frustrating. Mark’s internal monologues are the funniest part of the film, giving us a glimpse inside Mark’s simultaneously practical and imaginative mind.

Bakula and McHale are fine as the FBI agents pulling their hair out over their constantly changing witness account. Bakula is as charming as ever and McHale proves he can handle playing a serious character on the big screen. The film is packed with comedic actors who don’t try to score laughs, making their casting seem a little pointless. These bit players include Andrew Daly, Tony Hale, Patton Oswalt, and Paul F. Thomkins.

The main complaint you’ll hear about THE INFORMANT! is that it gets too confusing. And that’s completely true. Even the sharpest mind will have trouble wrapping itself around the film’s convoluted web of lies. But accept that now and go in ready to enjoy the sights, sounds, and performances of THE INFORMANT!

Originally posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

Review: Love Happens

2009-09-17T23:54:00.000-05:00

Rating: 6/10

Director: Brandon Camp
Writer: Brandon Camp and Mike Thompson
Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Dan Fogler, Jennifer Aniston

Wikipedia tells me that LOVE HAPPENS was formerly known as BRAND NEW DAY, and before that, TRAVELING. Either of those two titles would have been more fitting than LOVE HAPPENS because love seems to be the furthest thing from this film’s mind.

Aaron Eckhart plays Burke Ryan, a man who wrote a best-selling book about dealing with grief after his wife died three years ago. His manager, played by Dan Fogler (looking rather odd and out of place in a suit), is pushing Burke into a multimedia deal that would have him writing more books and starring in his own syndicated talk show.

In his travels, Burke has determinedly avoided stopping in Seattle in an attempt to avoid his father-in-law, played by Martin Sheen. But he goes to Seattle anyway and inevitably is confronted by said father-in-law. But he still goes through with leading his seminar, taking participants on field trips, sitting in circles, talking about feelings, and walking over hot coals. One participant in particular seems unreachable and much of the film seems to focus on this conflict.

At one point, Burke meets Eloise (Jennifer Aniston, playing the same character she plays in every movie), a florist who has many quirky traits because every movie in this genre is obligated to include a mysteriously quirky female. The movie intends for them to fall in love, but they so severely lack chemistry that it seems like more of a blossoming tolerance or friendship, at best.

It’s amazing how peripheral Jennifer Aniston’s character is in LOVE HAPPENS. Had her character been missing, nothing about the movie’s outcome would be different. Burke would have eventually gotten over his demons with or without her miniscule amount of help.

The trailers and title bill this as a romantic comedy, but it’s more about mourning a loved one than anything else. There are a handful of funny moments, particularly a few involving a parrot, but not much on the romance side.

Director and writer Brandon Camp makes a movie that is at least more visually interesting than many others in the genre. The Seattle setting almost makes you feel warm and fuzzy – like you, too, should don a sweater and stay indoors with coffee.

Aaron Eckhart does what is asked of him and plays the enterprising widower very well. He goes back and forth between the cheesy motivational speaker onstage to a wounded man in real life and does so with skill. His scenes with the reluctant seminar attendee, Walter (John Carroll Lynch) are the best in the film.

Dan Fogler is off-putting at first as the manager/friend, but gradually becomes one of the most likable characters in the film. Martin Sheen is adequate as the ex-Marine dad in mourning and Judy Greer plays Aniston’s best friend like no one else can. (Really, Greer has perfected the art of playing the female sidekick.)

Aniston doesn’t do a terrible job at all. It’s not her fault her character is completely unnecessary and written as a knockoff stereotype of every woman in a romantic comedy. Aniston plays the same character she did in HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, BRUCE ALMIGHTY, and any other film where she was kind, sympathetic, and relatively boring. Aniston does a great job playing this specific role and I’m not going to fault her for that.

The stars lack chemistry for the brief times they’re the focus of the film, but LOVE HAPPENS generally has heart and isn’t a waste of film by any means. You might even shed a tear or two.

Originally posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

The Office: Gossip

2009-09-17T20:58:00.005-05:00

Alright, Dunder Mifflin party people! Is everyone rested up after a summer free of bears and beets? Yes? No? I don’t even care, let’s get started!

In tonight’s episode, “Gossip,” we return to Scranton as Michael, Dwight, and Andy attempt to imitate the 2004 viral sensation of parkour. Naturally, they fail.

After the surprisingly unchanged theme song, Michael feels left out at the office because he’s too dense to pick up on office gossip. The Dunder Mifflin summer interns have everyone feeling youthful – did anyone else notice that one of them is from “Desperate Housewives?”

Anyway, Michael starts some rumors of his own and tells everyone that Stanley’s having an affair... which he is! Feeling guilty, Michael decides to spread more false rumors in order to take the heat off Stanley. Angela’s dating an older man, Kelly has anorexia, Erin might get fired, Andy’s gay… and Pam’s pregnant. (Even a blind squirrel finds a nut, right?)

The rumors get Andy questioning his own sexuality and turning to Oscar for help. Even more confused than before, Andy talks to Big Tuna at the intern-going-away party and congratulating him on having a Tuna Jr. Panicked, Jim and Pam retreat and hear everyone getting angry about the crazy rumors they’ve been hearing about themselves. They realize that all roads lead back to Michael.

Mike tries to escape, but eventually confesses to everyone. Backed into a corner, he tells everyone that only one rumor is true. Jim realizes that it was the one about Stanley, and takes the blow by telling everyone that he and Pam are having a baby. But to no avail, as Michael calls Stanley’s wife, Teri, the name of Stanley’s mistress on the phone… twice. Stanley busts up Michael’s Sebring.

Quotes of the Week:

Phyllis: Stanley hates crowds, kids, and music. I think you should check your facts.

Michael: No, no, no! It’s time to stop being polite and get real!

Michael: It’s like the end of Spartacus. I have seen that movie half a dozen times and I still don’t know who the real Spartacus is. And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit.

Andy: This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up. Twice before, actually. A weird coincidence. A little too weird. Almost makes you wonder if it’s not a coincidence at all. Whoa! Which it is, of course. But it makes you wonder.

Creed: If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What have I been working toward?

Dwight: Michael, you told people that I use store-bought manure… when I showed you where my manure comes from.

Kevin: I knew it! Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first, I thought, “Oh, she has a new bra with padding.” But then I thought, “Pam doesn’t NEED padding.” It just didn’t add up, Jim.

Intern 1: I learned that if you look even the tiniest bit like Jet Li, Michael will call you Jet Li all summer.
Intern 2: Julia Stiles.
Intern 3: Alan Thicke.

And in a new feature this year, I deem this week’s Office MVP to be Ed Helms.

What’d you guys think of the episode? I thought Michael was particularly callous, even for him. I loved the interns, Andy’s reaction to Michael’s rumor about him, and the warm fuzzy interaction between Jim and Pam. I’m impressed that Erin is still fitting in pretty well and I’m glad to see Ryan is back to a flattering hair color. What about you? What’d you like, dislike, etc?

Review: The September Issue

2009-09-10T14:41:00.004-05:00

Rating: 7/10
Director: R.J. Cutler
Cast: Anna Wintour, Grace Coddington

I’m a sucker for documentaries. I’ll admit it. Even the most mundane topic becomes interesting to me under the guise of being a documentary. You could say they’re the birth place of reality television. It’s fascinating to watch crews attempt to be unobtrusive as they document a scene or lifestyle. It’s even more fascinating to watch the people onscreen respond to being filmed.

So take the documentary formula and apply it to one of the most private figures in the fashion world, Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue, and you’ve got docudrama gold.

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE follows the Vogue team as they prepare the infamous September issue that fashionistas clamor for every August. I personally wouldn’t know, but I hear the issue defines trends and can make or break careers. The 2007 issue was the biggest ever, read by 13 million people and weighing in at four pounds.

I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, but even I know about Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue magazine. I know that she’s had the job for 20 years, wears sunglasses, and has a reputation for being an ice queen at best. Much of my knowledge has been gleaned from the 2006 film THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, which stars Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly, a Wintour doppelganger.

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE is kind of like a real-life version of DEVIL WEARS PRADA, except that, thankfully, it’s not. If the film had focused on a charming young intern wanting to work her way up the ranks only to be shot down by Wintour, I would have felt like I was watching The Hills. No, THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE largely focuses on Wintour as a person and as a foil to Vogue creative director Grace Coddington.

Wintour and Coddington, though both geniuses and decidedly British, couldn’t be more different. Anna always looks glamorous, while Grace always looks like death warmed over, as though she’s spent all night laboring over something that Anna is likely to turn down. Anna is cool and collected, while Grace gets hot under the collar when her ideas are scrapped.

Yet, somehow, the duo makes it work. Grace is the artist, the creative genius. We see her hard at work, setting up photo shoots, dressing models herself, and creating gorgeous works of art – all for a fashion magazine. Anna clearly has that creative eye as well, but as more of a critic than a creator. She decides what’s in and what’s out, both in her magazine and in fashion.

The real charm of the film lies in the character studies of these women who have been colleagues for decades. When interviews with Anna reveal that her family generally scoffs at her profession, you almost feel sorry for her. But then you watch her cut another photo spread that cost thousands of dollars to produce and you don’t much care. Huge laughs come as you watch everyone around Anna react to her decisions and bold confidence. Her employees seem to hate her, yet they crave her approval.

Grace, however, is more of a joy to watch as she flaunts her devil-may-care attitude when Anna’s not in the room. The movie largely belongs to Grace – she’s warmer and more open, making it easy to identify and sympathize with her. The movie also exposes just how much Grace does for Vogue and will leave you wishing more people knew her name.

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE is certainly a must-see for fashion junkies. But it’s also fun for the rest of us, if only because it provides an entertaining inside look at an often bizarre world ruled by one woman.

Originally posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

Review: Taking Woodstock

2009-08-28T16:19:00.003-05:00

Rating: 6/10

Director: Ang Lee
Writer: James Schamus (screenplay) and Elliot Tiber (book)
Cast: Demetri Martin, Henry Goodman, Imelda Staunton, Emile Hirsch, Eugene Levy, Liev Schreiber

There’s a saying about Woodstock and the 1960s that goes something like, “If you remember it, you weren’t there.” Well, there’s not much about TAKING WOODSTOCK worth remembering, whether you’re drug addled or not.

The new film from director Ang Lee is based on a true story, the memoirs of Elliot Tiber, “Taking Woodstock: A True Story of a Riot, a Concert, and a Life.” Comedian Demetri Martin plays Elliot, a homosexual interior designer who spends his weeks in New York City and his weekends in the Catskills, helping his parents maintain their dilapidated motel, the El Monaco. To bring in tourists, he holds an annual music fest at the motel that’s usually a few locals sitting on lawn chairs listening to records on the lawn.

Discouraged, Elliot hears that a neighboring town turned away the Woodstock music festival, so he contacts Woodstock Ventures and tells him that not only does he have plenty of land to host the concert, he’s got a permit for a music festival already. Faster than you can say “acid trip,” hippies are converging on his tiny town for the event that defined a generation.

What’s nice about TAKING WOODSTOCK is that it firmly sticks to telling its story, the story of Elliot Teichberg, later Tiber. If you’re looking for Woodstock footage or music, you won’t find it here. Elliot Teichberg never actually attended the three days of peace and music, despite the attempts he made, as seen in the film. The humorous and interesting ways he gets sidetracked are great, but may be discouraging to anyone looking to relive Woodstock.

What’s not so groovy about TAKING WOODSTOCK is that it’s too schizophrenic to stay with its main plotline. The film repeatedly introduces wacky new characters every scene or so. These unnecessary characters cause the plot to stray from the best and most interesting aspect of the film: how the festival serves as a catalyst for change within the Teichberg family.

Indeed, the Teichbergs are the most compelling characters in the film. Demetri Martin gives a charming performance as Elliot. Fans of the young comedian won’t be let down by his performance. He’s funny, warm and (unexpectedly) a fine dramatic actor.

But while Martin’s talents are well-utilized, TAKING WOODSTOCK has a massive cast that mostly goes to waste. The fantastic Jeffrey Dean Morgan only appears in a few brief scenes as a local man opposed to the festival. Eugene Levy is delightful as the dairy farmer who owns the land where Woodstock is eventually held, but his plotline is cut short and we never get to see him in the second half of the film.

Director Ang Lee seems out of his element with this film. TAKING WOODSTOCK feels too long and doesn’t have enough (or maybe too much) to keep you interested for its duration.

Originally posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

Review: Post Grad

2009-08-21T08:00:00.001-05:00

Rating: 5/10

Director: Vicky Jenson
Writer: Kelly Fremon
Cast: Alexis Bledel, Zach Gilford, Michael Keaton

Do you remember what college cafeteria food was like? You ate it because you were hungry, but it was never really satisfying. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. Food items that are usually good, like pizza, were prepared with little to no flavor or spice so that no one could complain… but no one was raving about it, either. That’s POST GRAD. It’s so bland that it’s impossible to love, but you can’t really find serious fault with it, either.

POST GRAD, from director Vicky Jenson, stars Alexis Bledel as Ryden Malby, a recent college graduate who watches her meticulous planning go to waste when she doesn’t score the dream job she expected. Humiliated, she’s forced to move back home with her eccentric family, played by Michael Keaton, Carol Burnett, and the criminally underused Jane Lynch. While desperately trying to find a way out of her predicament, Ryden spends more time with her best friend (who, naturally, is in love with her), played by Zach Gilford, and the attractive older guy across the street, played by Rodrigo Santoro. Ultimately, Ryden realizes that a job doesn’t define who you are and a happy ending ensues.

Normally, I wouldn’t get to the ending in a plot summary, but you can pretty much figure out everything that goes down in POST GRAD from the trailer. That’s the biggest problem with POST GRAD: predictability. Audiences have gotten variations of this story for years now. POST GRAD suffers from trying too hard to be like THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS, and JUNO. It ends up being a mess of a film that offers no surprises and never tries to find an identity of its own.

Alexis Bledel is barely adequate as the film’s lead and suffers from some of the same wooden acting that got her through the last few seasons of “Gilmore Girls.” (But I’ll give her a pass here because she’s not given anything worthwhile in the way of dialogue.) She often feels miscast, especially in scenes where she’s supposed to seem “grown up” or sexual in any way. Just like on “Gilmore Girls,” when it was off-putting once Rory became sexually active, Bledel’s face is simply too innocent and angelic. She always seems too young to be doing anything other than swooning over the lads in Tiger Beat.

The astounding thing about POST GRAD is how such a mediocre film got such a stellar supporting cast. J.K. Simmons plays the male lead’s absent father. Craig Robinson of “The Office” appears as a coffin salesman. Fred Armisen plays a pitchman for a guacamole maker. Comedian Demetri Martin plays an infomercial producer. Andrew Daly plays Ryden’s boss at a publishing company. How on earth did POST GRAD score all of this talent?

The real shock is that all of the talent goes to waste. The dialogue in POST GRAD is obvious, cheesy, and forgettable. Director Vicky Jenson, whose previous credits include two of my least favorite movies, SHREK and SHARK TALE, completely mishandles the cast she’s given. When you have Jane Lynch in your movie and still can’t get a good laugh from the audience, that’s a crime. Michael Keaton and Carol Burnett will make you roll your eyes more than split your sides.

Just like that rapidly congealing mass of macaroni and cheese in the cafeteria, the almost-charming POST GRAD tries to appeal to everyone, but will be loved and remembered by no one.

Originally posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

Review: District 9

2009-08-13T14:30:00.003-05:00

Rating: 9/10

Director: Neill Blomkamp
Writer: Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
Cast: Sharlto Copley

Thirty million dollars.That’s how much it cost to make the best film of the summer. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN cost $200 million. G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA cost $170 million. But DISTRICT 9, from director Neill Blomkamp, looks better than either of those films at the bargain price of $30 million. Oh, and it has a brilliant story, talented actors, a riveting character study, and intelligent social and political commentary.

Indeed, DISTRICT 9 is the best film of the summer, maybe of the year. This is the kind of film that makes me glad that the Academy expanded the Best Picture category to ten nominees this year instead of the usual five. Normally, the Oscars would overlook a film this incredible because of its genre: science fiction. Instead, they are now forced to recognize movies other than the usual biopics and period films and hopefully reward the genius of films such as DISTRICT 9.

To reveal too much of the treasures found in DISTRICT 9 would detract from the viewing experience, so I’ll try not to go into detail. In the film, aliens landed on Earth more than 28 years ago. Instead of landing in a more glitzy place like Los Angeles or New York City, as depicted in most alien films, they hover over Johannesburg, South Africa. The aliens mysteriously lack leadership and are unable to return home. After much debate over what to do with them, the government houses the aliens, referred to as “prawns,” in District 9. There the aliens are overcrowded and malnourished, creating a disgusting slum of District 9 that turns the citizens of Johannesburg against the foreigners.

A private company, Multi-National United, seeks to profit from the alien’s technology if they could just figure out how to use it. In the meantime, they decide to relocate the aliens to a concentration camp of sorts. MNU employee Wikus van der Merwe is put in charge of the effort and the adventure begins once Wikus enters District 9.

Not for the faint of heart or those with weak stomachs, the first half of DISTRICT 9 is literally disgusting. The treatment of the aliens and the squalor they live in is nauseating. The pompous arrogance of the initially moronic Wikus is irritating. But DISTRICT 9 lets these disturbing elements build until the story explodes into a thrilling tale. The action-packed second half of the film will have you on the edge of your seat, holding your breath and waiting to see what will become of the characters.

Sharlto Copley plays the role of Wikus and does so with tremendous talent. Copley has little to no acting experience, but blows the roof off of this film. He’s sure to score an Oscar nomination as Wikus, a character who is completely different in so many ways at the end of the film than when it started.

Director Neill Blomkamp also wrote the film, and the final result is magnificent. DISTRICT 9 is harrowing, disturbing, intriguing, and even a little fun. Blomkamp hasn’t just made lemonade from lemons with his small budget – he’s made the best science fiction film in years. He uses faux documentary footage to great effect, using it almost as a Greek chorus of sorts, setting up the film and then commentating on the events that unfold. He ingeniously includes elements at the beginning of the film that seem insignificant but become important by the film’s end.

Blomkamp’s great masterstroke is showing the aliens to the audience right off the bat, treating them like misunderstood victims instead of monsters, and having them live in a place like Johannesburg instead of New York City. DISTRICT 9 is very up front about showing the aliens right from the beginning. This is vital in setting up the world of DISTRICT 9, a world where aliens have existed for nearly 30 years and are thus almost commonplace, expected. Having seen the aliens’ daily life in District 9, we buy into the premise of the movie and the world of the film, which makes it easier to become absorbed in the more fantastic events that occur later on.

DISTRICT 9 is one of those rare films that, as soon as you see it, you want to shout from the rooftops and tell everyone else to see it, too. It’s a science fiction masterpiece and will undoubtedly be placed among the pantheon of greats within its genre, such as 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. DISTRICT 9 is epic, provocative, and well worth your time and money.

Review: Ponyo

2009-08-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

Rating: 8/10

Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Writer: Hayao Miyazaki
Cast: Noah Cyrus, Frankie Jonas, Tina Fey, Liam Neeson

I had an epiphany after watching PONYO, the adorable new animated film from Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki.

Recently, American animation studios have made it clear that only computer animated films are worth watching. They have decided that gimmicks like 3-D or celebrity voices are needed for an audience to enjoy an animated film. (Obviously, we can give Pixar a pass because, even though they use 3-D and the occasional famous voice, their movies are actually worthwhile.)

Well, that’s all baloney. It is for the kids, anyway. As I watched the exquisitely hand-drawn PONYO, I looked around and noticed that every child in the theater was enthralled and, most impressively, calmly seated in their chair. They reacted in all the right places, oohing and ahhing (and giggling) their way through the movie.

The adults were the ones who were bored, apparently. I heard several comments as I was leaving the theater that literally hurt my heart. “I could barely tell that the voices were famous people!” “It’s anime and that’s lame.” “That movie wasn’t funny enough.”

So it’s your fault, grown ups. It’s your fault that Disney all but shut down their traditional animation department a few years ago. It’s your fault that I have to sit through trailers where computer animated ogres and donkeys voiced by comedians make fart jokes. It’s your fault that a master like Hayao Miyazaki is a relative unknown here in the United States. Kids love traditional animation – it’s the adults who need to be babied, to be over-stimulated.

PONYO is yet another triumph from Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli, which has released Miyazaki’s other films such as MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO, HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE, and the Academy Award winning SPIRITED AWAY.

The film, inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Little Mermaid,” is about a little fish who, when stranded on the shore, is rescued by a young boy named Sosuke. He names the fish Ponyo and vows to take care of her. When her sorcerer father drags her back to the ocean, Ponyo rebels and uses her own magic to become a human and return to Sosuke. This results in an imbalance in nature, leading to torrential storms that submerge the nearby town under water. Sosuke and Ponyo must prove their love to her sorcerer father and ocean goddess mother before all is set right again.

Miyazaki once again combines whimsy and magic with themes of nature and young love and comes out with an adorable film. PONYO is almost too cute for words. The characters are unusual, to be sure, but always amusing. The humor of PONYO is pure and timeless – no topical jokes, clever satire, or talking donkeys here.

There are no computer generated images in PONYO. This is undeniably impressive once you see the lush backgrounds and incredibly detailed designs within the film. Dealing with water and the ocean is an ambitious task for any animator, but Miyazaki and the animators of Studio Ghibli use their art form to create a magical and fascinating world. In PONYO, the ocean doesn’t look photo-realistic because it doesn’t need to. It’s a children’s story and the ocean looks as it would to a child: expansive, overwhelming, and often dangerous.

The “celebrity voices” in PONYO are hardly noticeable. In the case of such an innocent film, that’s a big plus. The Disney team that worked on the English translation did a great job of choosing voices that fit the characters but didn’t stick out or sound too modern or “American.” I overheard one parent remarking how impressed she was with Noah Cyrus and Frankie Jonas’ performances as Ponyo and Sosuke, respectively. I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of such a statement – they used their child-like voices to voice child characters and, naturally, they did a fine job.

But therein lies the unmistakable effect of the grown up syndrome I described earlier. PONYO is yet another masterpiece from Miyazaki, but Disney knows that it’ll need more than that to get American butts in seats. So they load the cast with names like Tina Fey and Matt Damon, even though their voices lend nothing to the film. (They’re great, of course, but easily interchangeable with any other voice in Hollywood.)

So, please, go see PONYO. Not because it stars Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers’ little siblings. Not because it’s being released by Disney. See it because it’s original, pure of heart, and unusually, beautifully hand-drawn.

Review: Funny People

2009-07-31T11:44:00.003-05:00

Writer and director Judd Apatow has topped himself again with FUNNY PEOPLE. He pioneered combining raw emotions with raunchy antics and takes that formula further than ever with his new film.

FUNNY PEOPLE stars Adam Sandler as George Simmons, a comedian who’s forgone the pursuit of family and friends in favor of a sell-out career doing abominable family films. After learning he will soon die of cancer, he befriends a hopeful stand-up, Ira, played by Seth Rogen. They struggle together with George’s illness until, miraculously, he gets better. George then decides to live the life he hasn’t and pursues the one that got away, Laura, played by Leslie Mann.

First thing’s first: FUNNY PEOPLE is way too long. The running time is nearly two and a half hours. That wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t noticeable… but it’s glaringly obvious while you’re watching how long this movie is. I happened to take notice because I knew Eric Bana was in the movie, but I hadn’t seen his character yet. Turns out, he doesn’t show up until more than halfway through the movie. So go to the bathroom before you go in and be prepared to stretch when you get up to leave.

Though there are clearly too many minutes in FUNNY PEOPLE, plenty of them are enjoyable. Writer and director Judd Apatow has crafted his best film so far; the others he’s helmed were THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN and KNOCKED UP. Apatow blends humor and tragedy, providing a veritable roller coaster of emotions for the audience.

My only complaint with the writing is that the film feels a bit like two separate movies squished together. One movie deals with George and Ira navigating the stand-up comedy world and dealing with George’s cancer. The other movie finds George trying to break up Laura’s family so they can be together. The two plots don’t really intertwine, which contributes to the lengthy feel of the movie.

However, the performances in FUNNY PEOPLE can’t be beat. Adam Sandler’s character is so authentically broken that, with the help of Apatow’s use of actual footage from Sandler’s stand-up days, it’s difficult to think of him as a character and not a real celebrity. I found myself disliking him and having to remind myself that the real Adam Sandler is a great guy who’s happily married with a family of his own. That’s some solid acting.

Seth Rogen is the most appealing he’s ever been as the only character in the film with a fully-formed conscience. Naturally, he gets kicked around for being the good guy, but you can’t help but love him. He awkwardly fumbles into a relationship with a female stand-up played by Aubrey Plaza and their scenes together are awkwardly real… and real funny.

Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman are generally funny as Ira’s roommates. Jonah Hill is the most endearing than he’s been since ACCEPTED. But even better is the cocky performance from Schwartzman as the star of a lame sitcom called “Yo Teach!”

Leslie Mann and Eric Bana are both fine, but are outshined by Maude and Iris Apatow, who portray their daughters. The Apatow girls were last seen in Apatow’s KNOCKED UP. They’re slightly older now, but still adorable and hilariously honest.

Don’t go into FUNNY PEOPLE expecting a wet-your-pants-laughing comedy or a –cry-yourself-to-sleep drama. Frankly, it’s a little of both. It depicts life in a painfully honest way, but somehow doesn’t feel relatable. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but still somehow leaves you with a small smile.

Review: The Ugly Truth

2009-07-23T16:04:00.004-05:00

Rating: 2/10

Director: Robert Luketic
Writer: Nicole Eastman and Karen McCullah Lutz
Cast: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler

I’ve never walked out of a movie and I don’t know if I ever will, barring extreme physical illness. But I came awfully close to walking out of THE UGLY TRUTH.

The new “battle of the sexes” themed comedy from director Robert Luketic starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler is insulting, moronic, and – worst of all – predictable.

Heigl plays Abby, the producer on a failing morning talk show that tries to hit ratings gold by hiring Butler’s scruffily sexist Mike for a segment called “The Ugly Truth,” in which he discusses how he thinks relationships between men and women should be. Even though the two leads are complete opposites, they inevitably fall for one another. How fresh.

Don’t get me wrong. I love R-rated sex comedies like “There’s Something About Mary,” “American Pie,” and “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” But those movies are funny. THE UGLY TRUTH is not. In fact, I kept a running tally of how many times I laughed during the film’s 95 minute running time. I chuckled twice.

A huge problem I had with the film lied in the writing and concepts. As a woman, I felt degraded and humiliated. There were several scenes in the movie that caused men in the audience to howl with laughter while women shifted in their seats, embarrassed.

Now, of course Butler’s character is sexist – that’s supposed to be funny. But it’s no longer funny when Heigl’s character buys into it. Typical female behavior or traits are mocked in this movie, sending the message that the only way to have a relationship is to change yourself to fit someone else’s ideal.

Even the bits of the film intended to be funny fall flat. Heigl spies on her attractive neighbor and falls out of a tree, exposing her underwear. What a scream. Later, she forgets to take off vibrator panties and naturally, they go off for what feels like an eternity at an important business dinner. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just take them off, but then, I’m not a brilliant TV executive like her character. Either way, that’s not funny. It’s humiliating – for her and the audience.

But all is not lost here. Gerard Butler is generally charming, which is a blessing when you consider how completely unlikable Katherine Heigl is. Butler also managed to nail an American accent – he really sounds like a cigar smoking, beer guzzling man’s man. Cheryl Hines and John Michael Higgins are amusing as the morning show’s married co-anchors. And Bree Turner is quasi-cute as the film’s obligatory BFF, but often comes off as a poor man’s Judy Greer.

My main point of contention with the movie lies with Heigl. Back in 2007, after KNOCKED UP made her known to the population of the world that doesn’t watch “Grey’s Anatomy,” she bit the hand that fed her and criticized the film in Vanity Fair. She complained that the film was “sexist” and that it painted women as “shrews, as humorless and uptight” and the men as “lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys.” Well, guess what, Heigl. You’ve done it again. But KNOCKED UP was a legitimately funny film. THE UGLY TRUTH is sexist and misogynistic. I left the theater feeling that Heigl had personally set the women’s movement back about 20 years.

Don’t see THE UGLY TRUTH. If you’re really in the mood, go rent SOMEONE LIKE YOU, the 2001 rom-com starring Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman, because it has the exact same plot but is much less offensive. It also doesn’t have volume issues between dialogue and music or awful green screen effects, of which THE UGLY TRUTH has plenty. Basically, THE UGLY TRUTH is the perfect date movie – if you’re ready to break up.

This review is also posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

neighborsgo to "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"

2009-07-17T11:16:00.009-05:00

Enjoy this video of me on the scene for neighborsgo at the midnight screening of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!

Review: Brüno

2009-07-10T12:01:00.004-05:00

You already know if you’re going to see Brüno. If you’re homophobic, you’re not going to see it. If you’re put off by extremely graphic nudity and sexual content, you’re not going to see it. But if you loved 2006’s Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, then you’re in luck. Brüno, in theaters today, is almost identical to Borat.

This time around, instead of an aspiring journalist from Kazakhstan, actor Sacha Baron Cohen uses another of his infamous characters: Brüno, an Austrian homosexual and fashion guru who wants to be über famous.

That’s really the only difference between the movies. Borat wanted to see and explore America while Brüno just wants to be “the most famous Austrian since Hitler.”

In fact, the basic plot structure of the two films is almost annoyingly similar. Like Borat, Brüno departs from his homeland for America with his assistant (Lutz, played by Gustaf Hammarsten). Hijinks ensue, the duo splits up, more hijinks ensue, and the duo gets back together in the end. Yawn.

But those hijinks… oh, those hijinks. It’s best not to spoil them here because that’s the only reason to see the movie. So, to put it vaguely, Brüno first tries making a celebrity interview show. (The reaction he gets from Harrison Ford is priceless.) Then he tries to make a celebrity sex tape with former presidential candidate Ron Paul.

When that doesn’t work, he tries adopting an African baby so he can be like Madonna and Brangelina. (This is where our cameo comes in, Dallas area. The airport where Brüno picks up his baby out of a cardboard box is none other than Dallas - Fort Worth International Airport. And the talk show where Brüno unveils his parenting techniques was shot in Carrollton. We should all be proud.)

When Brüno ultimately decides that he should give being straight a try, he sees a “gay converter” and attends a swingers party, culminating in an epic scene at a wrestling arena in Arkansas.

Though it may seem like Brüno dwells on making fun of homophobic Southerners, it must be said that Sacha Baron Cohen is an equal-opportunity offender. His Brüno is not a hero that homosexuals can look up to. He’s a graphic caricature, embodying the stereotypical worst fears of every homophobe. Baron Cohen puts blatant sexuality on the screen and purposely tries to make all (not just some) of his audience uncomfortable.

And in addition to mocking the hateful homophobes, Brüno also blasts self-righteous, “sensitive” celebrities who pretend to care about world issues but really just want their moments in the spotlight.

But throughout the obscenities and graphic content, one fact shines through: Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius. He deserved the Golden Globe he won for his performance in Borat and he deserves another for his turn as Brüno. He is, without a doubt, more skilled than any other comedic actor working today if only because of his improvisational skills. But he also has the remarkable ability to remain in character, even in the face of extreme danger.

Still, I would have enjoyed seeing more of the Brüno character in his native environment. The first few scenes in which Brüno runs amuck in the fashion world are hysterical. In fact, a Brüno movie where he stays in Europe might have been just as funny, if not quite as satirical. And it definitely would have set it apart from Borat.

Will you be shocked during Brüno? Of course. Will you be able to stop laughing? Probably not. But will it seem a little too familiar? Ultimately, yes.

Review: Public Enemies

2009-06-30T11:56:00.004-05:00

The last thing you expect when going to see a movie about bank robbers is to be bored halfway through. But that’s exactly what happens in PUBLIC ENEMIES, the new film from Michael Mann.

The film is an adaptation of Bryan Burrough's non-fiction book Public Enemies: America's Greatest Crime Wave and the Birth of the FBI, 1933–34. Set during the Great Depression, FBI agent Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale) attempts to capture notorious criminal and “public enemy number one” John Dillinger (Johnny Depp).

The film jumps right into the action, opening on Dillinger breaking a few of his cohorts out of prison. In most movies, starting out with a bang is great. But without flashbacks later or any back story up front, we never really get to know who John Dillinger is and why he chose a life of crime. Without that history, we never grow to care about his character, even when he develops a serious relationship with Billie Frechette (Marion Cotillard).

This flaw is not Depp’s fault. He plays the role of Dillinger with a cool, collected manner. That would be fine if we knew more about his character, but without that knowledge, he can come off as cold and shockingly uninteresting.

Christian Bale doesn’t fare any better in PUBLIC ENEMIES. I’m beginning to think Bale should only do films with Christopher Nolan, as Nolan seems to be the only director who can get a good performance out of him. In Bale’s other films, such as this one, he constantly comes off as wooden and even a bit slow.

Three actors shine above the rest and lift this film to a slight level of interest when they grace the screen. Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard is wonderful as Dillinger’s anxious but smitten girlfriend. Cotillard not only looks perfect in the time period, but has the capability to appear blissfully happy with Dillinger in one scene and terrified for their lives in the next.

Stephen Graham plays Baby Face Nelson, another criminal the FBI aims to detain. Graham skillfully hides his British accent and adopts the infamous mannerisms of Baby Face.

But in my opinion, the best performance in PUBLIC ENEMIES actually comes from Billy Crudup as J. Edgar Hoover. Crudup nails the mannerisms and voice of the FBI director and succeeds at subtly alluding to the character of Hoover without making any judgments or assumptions. Crudup’s Hoover is never a mockery. Instead, it is a fine imitation and performance.

But three actors can’t save the film from being relatively dull and often off-putting to watch, thanks to Mann’s filmmaking style. The jumpy camera movements and harsh lighting work for some of Mann’s films, like COLLATERAL, but feels jarringly out of place in a 1930s period film like PUBLIC ENEMIES. The film’s pacing has issues, too. Many of the search/chase sequences are far too long and the bank robbery scenes (a.k.a. the good stuff) are way too short. Mann offers a few interesting scenes connected by long stretches of nothing much to care about.

This film is generally disappointing. The trailers seemed like it would be a less whimsical, more violent CATCH ME IF YOU CAN set in the 1930s. (I was definitely up for that.) But instead we got a boring film about two boring characters who barely have any interaction. Still, the film is a nice break from big budget summer blockbusters. So if you’re tired of giant robots in your face, you could check out PUBLIC ENEMIES. But don’t be surprised if you find yourself dozing off.

Review: Year One

2009-06-18T14:19:00.003-05:00

YEAR ONE suffers from a disease that plagues many modern comedies. I call it “Best-jokes-are-in-the-trailer-itis.” When the promotional material for any comedy is too good, you should start to worry because there’s a good chance that you’ve just laughed as much as you will when you pay $10 to see the film in its entirety.

It’s not that YEAR ONE is a bad film. It’s just that it sets expectations high with quality writers and a stellar cast but ultimately falls short.

The film stars Jack Black and Michael Cera as two bumbling hunter-gatherers who are forced out of their village and go on a road trip of sorts, bumping into various biblical characters along the way.

It pains me to say that the problem with YEAR ONE lies in the writing. The screenplay by writer/director Harold Ramis and “The Office” writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg is relatively strong for the first one and a half acts, but falls apart after that. The staple of any road trip movie is some definite mission the characters must accomplish or a lesson they must learn. YEAR ONE drifts aimlessly between Zed and Oh (Black and Cera, respectively) simply moving forward to escape from danger, trying to save their enslaved love interests and determining whether or not Zed is chosen by God. All of these plots thrown together make the 1 hour and 40 minutes running time seem a lot longer. One goal at a time, guys.

It’s also surprising to find a script from Harold Ramis, the man who wrote comedy classics like GHOSTBUSTERS and GROUNDHOG DAY, stooping to scenes that include Jack Black eating fecal matter or Michael Cera urinating on himself while hanging upside down. It feels lazy and desperate coming from a skilled writer like Ramis.

But the film isn’t entirely without merit. While Jack Black tries a little too hard in many of his scenes, he’s still playing his quintessential “Jack Black” character, which is somehow still charming. However, Michael Cera outshines him at every turn. Perhaps it isn’t that Black tries too hard, but that Cera makes everything seem so effortless that Black’s efforts seem greater. Cera plays the same quiet and awkward character he always does, but he’s given great lines and situations to work with in YEAR ONE that make him stand out as the M.V.P. of the movie.

Honorable mention goes to Hank Azaria as Abraham and Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Issac. They steal every one of their scenes and provide the most not-included-in-the-trailer laughs. David Cross also turns in a quality performance as the (Spoiler alert!) brother-murdering Cain. Bill Hader is also hilarious in his brief role as a village shaman.

Overall, YEAR ONE’s shortcomings are due to over-familiarity. We already know the jokes from the trailer. We already know the characters from the Bible. We even know the basic situation, as this film is little more than SUPERBAD B.C. Two co-dependent guys on some kind of mission? Check. Ambiguous goal involving hot chicks? Check. Michael Cera, Bill Hader, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse? Triple check. Save your money and just re-watch SUPERBAD while imaging everyone wearing loincloths and robes.

Originally posted at gordon and the whale dot com.

The Office: Company Picnic

2009-05-14T21:01:00.005-05:00

It's actually here: the season finale of "The Office!" Will Dunder Mifflin's company picnic be more interesting than your own? You bet it will! Grab your sunscreen and let's go!

In the opening, Michael had eaten a family sized chicken pot pie and elected to take a nap. The entire office conspires to leave early by setting all of the clocks ahead and then waking Michael up. (Um… that pot pie was massive. How did he eat the whole thing?)

After the shortened theme song, we find the gang at a company picnic. Jim and Pam want to leave early since they didn’t really enjoy last year’s picnic. (Jim had a run-in with a spider. Pam had a run-in with a drunk.) Michael sees ex-girlfriend Holly, who is still with her boyfriend A.J. Naturally, this throws Michael into turmoil. However, it seems he and Holly still have the same dorky connection.

While Michael and Holly put together a skit on the history of Dunder Mifflin, the Scranton gang plays volleyball. Turns out, Pam’s a volleyball pro and knows it. (Awesome!)

After tossing around “Jaws” and “Back to the Future,” Holly and Michael decide to do a “Slumdog Millionaire” parody, but with Dunder Mifflin facts. (They even do the flashbacks. And Michael tries out an Indian accent.) Unfortunately, the dramatic duo accidentally reveals that Dunder Mifflin is planning to shut down the Buffalo branch… much to the surprise and dismay of the Buffalo branch.

The volleyball match comes down to Scranton vs. Corporate. Charles continues to dismiss and insult Jim. Pam gets hurt and Charles tries to force her out of the game by making her go to the hospital. So Dwight stalls. (All of his attempts are fantastic.) But the substitute players have to be called in anyway... because while they're at the hospital, Jim and Pam are delighted to find that Pam is pregnant.

Quotes of the Week:

Stanley: I usually don’t enjoy the theatre, but this is delightful.

Dwight: I’M SO MAD THAT PAM GOT HURT. (kicks ball into woods) I’ll get it.

Since I didn’t find too many quotes that split my sides, here are some bonus moments that I loved: Toby’s HR doppelganger, the Charles and Jim rivalry, David Wallace’s disclaimer before Michael’s skit, the Scrantonites debate about whether or not to play, Kevin and Phyllis’ athleticism, the silent reveal in the hospital room, and Jim’s reaction to the news.

I loved the way the Michael/Holly situation was handled. Michael’s maturity when Holly walked away with her boyfriend was a little unbelievable, but refreshing and adorable nonetheless. And I want to believe him so badly… those two were meant for each other.

Speaking of meant for each other, how about those teeny tiny sparks between Dwight and Angela towards the end of the episode? Could Scranton’s most dysfunctional couple since Michael and Jan make a comeback?

And Jim and Pam. Oh my goodness, Jim and Pam! John Krasinski deserves an Emmy for his performance during that hospital scene. His teary-eyed joy definitely warmed my heart. I can’t think of a more interesting direction for Jim and Pam’s storyline to go. We expected them to get married. We would die if they broke up. So kudos to the writers for thinking up something else for television’s cutest couple.

That’s it for me, “Office” fans. I’ll see you next season!

Shameless Promotion: Starbucks To Go Cold Cup Tumbler

2009-05-13T16:34:00.005-05:00

Once again, Starbucks has made my life a little brighter. As you know if you've read this blog since last summer, I love iced green tea. I drink it pretty much every day. It helps my digestive system, it's full of antioxidants, and it just tastes amazing. And the Starbucks kind is particularly refreshing.

I'm also the type of person who likes saving money as well as the earth. So I could do both by bringing in my own cup but it would be a mug, and how dumb do you feel drinking cold things out of a mug? Also, the plastic cups Starbucks uses are fine in the winter, but they sweat in the summer, making my hands and the napkin I use very damp.

Starbucks solved my problem with the To Go Cold Cup Tumbler. It's available in grande and venti. And no, I don't work for Starbucks. (I just go there every day as a convenience because I live above one.)

Notice how the tumbler looks exactly like a plastic cup from Starbucks! (That way, you can still be a douche bag and show off the fact that you bought something from Starbucks.) It's insulated and double walled, so it keeps your drink cold and your hands dry!

The lid twists off and the sturdy straw has a nub on the end so it's more difficult to lose. The only problem for me will be remembering to keep it, since I'm used to throwing them away.

The cup essentially allows me to not have to go to Starbucks. I have their green tea at home. Now I can brew my own iced tea and take it with me every morning. Thanks Starbucks!

Duped by a fake IMAX?

2009-05-12T13:46:00.003-05:00

Comedian and actor Aziz Ansari is stirring up some commotion on the interwebs with his outrage at fake IMAX theaters. He’s absolutely right, though. I’ve felt equally taken advantage of by several fake IMAX theaters here in Dallas. They have the IMAX name but are not actually IMAX size.

Ansari, who currently stars on the new NBC series Parks and Recreation, documented on his Twitter account and on his blog about a recent experience going to see Star Trek on an IMAX screen. (Expect strong language if you visit either one of those links.)

“I drove out of my way to see the film on the large IMAX screen and paid an extra $5 for the ticket, which felt worth it at the time.

HOWEVER, we get in the theatre and its just a slightly bigger than normal screen and NOT the usual standard huge 72 ft IMAX screen. I was very upset and apparently this problem is happening all over at Regal and AMC theatres.

If you don’t want the whole long story, I did some research online and found this article that explains it. Basically IMAX is whoring out their brand name and trying to trick people. These new “IMAX” theatres are really just nice digital screens with good sound, but they ARE NOT IMAX, in that they don’t have the huge 72 ft gigantic screen which people would expect. However, they still charge $5 more for tickets as they would for the regular IMAX.”

“REGAL, AMC, AND IMAX - YOU ARE LIARS! … Boycott them.”

“Some people at Regal and AMC both wanted to call these screens IMAX Digital so as to differentiate it somehow from the giant IMAX screens people are used to associating with the name IMAX. Apparently IMAX doesn’t see anything wrong with duping customers like this and insisted on simply keeping it as IMAX.”

"Ain't It Cool News" film critic Harry Knowles also wrote a piece on these normal screens masquerading as IMAX screens. (Again, expect strong language if you visit that site.)

Aziz and Harry are right. What IMAX is doing is wrong. The first example that comes to my mind is the “IMAX” at the Cinemark 17 on Webb Chapel. That’s not an IMAX screen, though it's labeled as one.

I’ve been to see movies on an IMAX screen. The one at The Science Place is so massive that, when I was on a field trip there in third grade, the experience was so intense that I tried to leave and fell down the steep theater steps. Two years ago, I saw “Transformers” on an IMAX screen that was so massive, it was hard to tell what was going on whenever robots were transforming or fighting.

IMAX screens – real ones – are so big that you need your peripheral vision to see the entire picture. Anything smaller is not worth the money.

Anyone else want to expose a fake IMAX? Share your experiences with a real IMAX or with a fake IMAX below.

This entry was also published at Neighbors Go To The Movies

The Office: Cafe Disco

2009-05-07T20:44:00.004-05:00

In a bizarre cold open, Dwight pays Erin, the new receptionist, to pretend to have won an art contest to get under Pam’s skin. Dwight laughs hysterically.

After the credits, we find Michael sneaking into the former Michael Scott Paper Company Office to drink coffee and dance. After a great impression of a giant, then a robot, Michael desperately tries to get someone to go to lunch with him. He believes that Charles left a dark cloud over the office, so he turns his old office into a disco café… no, wait… a café disco.

Michael holds a speaker up to the vent to entice the employees down to the lounge, and Phyllis can’t resist the phat beats. After an awkward scene with Bob Vance’s secretary, Phyllis dances in the disco until she throws out her back. As Kelly and Erin dismantle the disco, they can’t help but dance and a warehouse guy (and pretty much everyone else) comes a-runnin’.

While Andy and Kelly have a dance-off, Dwight tends to Phyllis in the conference room. (This is the Dwight I like best, not the mean-spirited one from the beginning of the episode. I like the Dwight who uses his farm knowledge to treat his co-workers like race horses.) Phyllis reveals her worry that Bob Vance might have an affair with his secretary, but then returns to the disco to find her husband waiting to dance with her.

Meanwhile, Dwight finds a map to a courthouse in the printer, which leads Jim and Pam to reveal that they’re getting married today! Wedding plans had gotten to be a little much, so they decided to head straight to the nearest courthouse without a waiting period, which turns out to be in Ohio. While everyone is dancing (and Stanley is sleeping), Jim and Pam are about to leave when they, too, fall prey to the allure of the disco. While dancing, they realize that they actually do want a real, cheesy wedding after all. (Except for the disco part, this eerily parallels my life. My fiancé and I even have the same couple's nickname: Jam.)

Quotes of the Week:

Kevin: I wanted a cookie.

Dwight: Who’s Phillip? Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?

Michael: You took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.

Dwight: It’s the most annoying thing. It’s like children singing Christmas carols.

Angela: I just don’t like the general spirit of music.

I always love episodes that seem real – and this one did. How about it, neighborsgo? Want to set up a Café Disco? We got continued antics from supporting characters, something that made this and last week’s episodes so strong. The minor characters are a huge part of “The Office.” I liked Michael’s disco shenanigans –yet another plot that is fresh but still seems typically Michael-esque without being too outlandish. And Jim and Pam’s story was 100% believable – and it also doesn’t deny viewers the possibility of hearing more of Michael’s great wedding speeches. All in all, it looks like we have a great season finale to look forward to next week.

Next week on "The Office:" In the season finale, "Company Picnic," it’s the annual Dunder Mifflin company picnic. Michael and Holly are reunited, and Michael has some big plans for her. Meanwhile, the office competes in the picnic’s volleyball tournament.

The Office: Casual Friday

2009-04-30T21:13:00.007-05:00

The prodigal paper salespeople return! Will the transition be a smooth one? Of course not. Slide on your sandals and sundresses and let's go!

In one of the funniest cold opens ever, Kevin spills a huge pot of chili all over the floor and ends up rolling in it as he tries to clean it up. Seriously. That's it. Priceless.

After the theme, Michael, Pam, and Ryan return to the office. In a meeting, Michael tries to get everyone to apologize for not going with him to The Michael Scott Paper Company. The loyal Dunder Mifflinites, however, are angry that they lost clients to Ryan and Pam. (By the way, since Ryan never made a sale when he worked for Dunder Mifflin back in the day, can we assume that Pam has made more sales than Ryan?)

Angered by Michael's new favoritism towards Pam and Ryan, Dwight uses invisible urine inked memos to assemble Phyllis, Stanley, Andy, and Jim in the warehouse to plan a coup. Jim steers clear of the drama and instead plays chess with Creed.

Michael responds to the coup by literally eating everyone's lunches. The tension builds until Michael finally demands an apology and Phyllis points out that if Michael truly sees himself as the father of the Dunder Mifflin family (as we know he does), leaving the company and stealing clients doesn't make him the World's Best Dad anymore.

While all of this was going on, it also happened to be Casual Friday. Toby has to deal with complaints about Oscar's sandals and Meredith's disturbingly revealing sundress. Toby tries to hold a meeting to let everyone know that their outfits are inappropriate, but is met with an angry mob led by Dwight. (Boy, Dwight's really gotten to be a pot-stirrer lately, huh?)

At another warehouse meeting, Michael caves in and gives the gang their clients back. However, that means that there won't be enough clients for both Pam and Ryan, so one of them will have to go. After some soul-searching, Michael gives the sales job to Pam. In a scene recalling the pilot episode, Michael pretends to fire Pam and then brings in the new receptionist to do the same to her. Ah, memories.

Quotes of the Week:

Toby: Well, I was in the seminary for a year and dropped out 'cause I wanted to have sex with this girl, Cathy. I followed her back to Scranton, took the first job I could find in HR, and later she divorced me. So... no. I wouldn't say I have a passion for HR.

Andy: It is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.

Darryl: What did I tell you about building forts in my warehouse?

Creed: I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.

Michael: There is no easy way of saying this, so I think I will just drag it out.

Pam: Maybe you shouldn't fake fire people anymore.

How fun was it seeing everyone in their Casual Friday best/worst? It was just as funny as the Halloween episodes. And it was great to see Creed (creepy as usual) and Toby back in action again. Those characters are criminally underused. Questions for next week: What will become of Ryan? How will Pam fare as Jim's competitor in the workplace? How many times will Meredith flash us over the course of the series? (We're at three or four times so far, I think.) And how on earth did Kevin get that chili out of the carpet?

Next week on "The Office:" In "Café Disco," Michael enters the cafe-disco business. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim decide to take a secret trip.

The Office: Broke

2009-04-23T23:02:00.005-05:00

Can The Michael Scott Paper Company survive in this economy? Hold on to your beets, steer clear of bees, and let's find out!

The cold open finds Michael, just a 44-year old guy with a paper route, fitting out a van for early morning deliveries. Unlike the sleepy-eyed Pam and Ryan, Michael's a bundle of energy while he makes Dunkin' Donuts jokes. The secret to his morning demeanor? Milk and sugar... no coffee... just milk and sugar. Now if only the gang could figure out what the side of their van says in Korean...

After the credits, Charles reveals some interesting news: Dunder Mifflin is actually losing clients to The Michael Scott Paper Company. We get a talking head interview with Charles expressing his frustration - and Dwight is in his usual spot in the corner of the manager's office, providing commentary. How bizarre was it to see Charles where Michael used to be? That hadn't really hit me until now.

CFO David Wallace shows up to address the issue and, to Jim's surprise, Charles becomes a total suck up when David is around. David's always had a soft spot for Jim, which naturally conflicts with Charles' opinion of Jim. David is even more shocked to hear that Dwight has become Charles' go-to guy. (I love how David's presence always shows us how topsy-turvy life at Dunder Mifflin Scranton is. I get used to it as I watch every week, so it's nice when we get an outsider's perspective.) A meeting of the minds reveals to Charles just how weird Dwight is after he suggests filling Michael's office with bees.

Meanwhile, the employees of TMSPC really want to hire a delivery guy, but the rock bottom prices they've been using to obtain clients make that impossible. After crunching the numbers several times, they find that they're likely to be broke within the month. Things look pretty grim back at their tiny headquarters, where the trio share their pathetic stories: Michael considers this failure worse than Steve Martin dying, Pam applied to Old Navy and Wal-Mart and didn't get a job, and Ryan never went to Thailand. (Side note: Michael appears to have gotten a new fish. Anyone else notice?)

David Wallace concludes that the best idea is to make Michael an offer. David and Charles send Jim to broker the deal because Dwight can't shut up about his bees. It's good to see Jim back on top again. On the way upstairs to make the deal, Ryan and Pam try to impress upon Michael how vital it is that he not let on about their financial troubles. It seems like he will inevitably fail, but Michael gives an impressive performance in the meeting. Michael actually showing some skill is always delightful to watch. After Michael mentions the upcoming shareholder meeting that David will have to face, it seems TMSPC will get an impressive deal.

Dwight tries to expose them as failures after he receives a tip from a client, but Jim discredits him by getting him to talk about Cousin Mose and stolen beets. Charles deems them both morons.

In a remarkable display of common sense, Michael uses the "teach a man to fish" theory and decides they should probably ask for jobs instead of so much money. Michael gets David to give him his old job back, hire Pam as a salesperson, and even hire Ryan again. The look of pride on Jim's face as the former Michael Scott Paper Company employees celebrate in the conference room had me smiling pretty big. (I'm so looking forward to the Jam wedding!)

The final, incredible moment: As Charles stops on his way out the door to say goodbye, Michael cuts him off and tells him he's done, just like Charles had done to him. Magnificent.

Quotes of the Week:

Phyllis: If you had just returned Michael's call, none of us would have lost clients.
David: I've been wondering that myself lately.

Dwight: (to Jim) Come along, afterthought.

Jim: (after his phone rings with Dwight's voice as a ringtone, "Idiot, idiot, idiot") That's my new Dwight ring. (answers phone) Hello?
Dwight: Idiot. We're starting back up. This is Dwight, by the way.

Michael: Well, well, well. How the turntables...

Michael: I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family. He is like a son to me!

Finally, a resolution to all of this two companies madness! The result turned out to be a little less predictable than I thought. I can't wait to see Pam and Jim compete in sales, Michael return to his glory, and Dwight back in his place as resident weirdo. The best part about this episode is that it had one cohesive plotline with two halves that came perfectly together. So often, when I write these recaps, it's easy to see that one plot could have been cut from the episode entirely. But everything in this episode had a hilarious purpose. Kudos, "Office" writers! Kudos!

Next week on "The Office:" In "Casual Friday," Michael has to mediate a dispute within his new sales team. Meanwhile, trouble brews in the office when several employees take the term “casual” Fridays too loosely.

The Office: Heavy Competition

2009-04-16T23:21:00.006-05:00

We knew it was only a matter of time before The Michael Scott Paper Company became a force to be reckoned with... right? Grab a tub of cheese puffs and a notepad and let's go!

The cold open focuses on a great American pastime. No, not baseball... throwing cheese puffs into a buddy's mouth. Things are pretty slow at The Michael Scott Paper Company and it helps fill the hours.

After the theme (which is back to normal), we find Jim and Pam planning their wedding! Or rather, they're mining Andy's plans for his wedding to Angela that fell through. (This is an interesting turn of events, considering how weirded out Pam was when Phyllis stole all of Pam's ideas from her non-wedding to Roy.) After Pam rejects the idea of Here Comes Treble accompanying her down the aisle, Andy suspects Pam might be as controlling as Angela and warns Jim. Naturally, Jim can't resist messing with him and goes along with it. He pretends to be emotionally crippled as Andy comforts him. When Phyllis points the joke out to Andy, Jim explains that he and Pam and very happy and that Andy will eventually find someone new.

Elsewhere, Dwight feels restricted by Charles' new dress code that requires him to wear a long sleeved shirt like everyone else. He feels so restricted, in fact, that he finds himself giving Michael sales leads at secret meetings in the parking lot. The tide changes, however, when Charles is impressed with Dwight's work ethic and asks him to join him for a drink, something Michael never did. Anxious, Dwight calls Michael for advice (allowing a priceless moment as Pam and Ryan try to silently tell Michael that Dwight's rhetorical situation is real) and they agree to meet again.

But it's an ambush! Dwight brings the "Will Smith-like" Charles with him to the parking lot, where Charles lays down the law and tells Michael to steer clear of Dunder Mifflin. Outraged, Michael threatens to steal all of Dwight's clients, starting with one of the biggest.

The two meet once more in the parking lot, where Dwight strips to prove the conversation isn't being monitored. (And now we know whether Dwight wears boxers or briefs. Because I know you were all wondering.) Dwight pretends to make a truce with Michael and offers a lunch at Alfredo's with Pam and Ryan. But while all three employees of The Michael Scott Paper Company are waiting for Dwight at Alfredo's, Dwight steals their office equipment and puts a dead fish in their vents. (This leads to another instance where Pam and Ryan have to use a notepad to tell Michael that Dwight is the culprit.)

After Dwight uses Michael's files of personal information on clients to get ahead, Michael strikes back by calling Dwight and having him listen as he steals Dwight's biggest client. Dwight hustles over in a panic, throwing on his trusty short-sleeved, mustard yellow shirt in the process. Overwhelmed, the client asks both men to e-mail him with their best offers and they'll all go from there. Michael and Dwight are officially at war. ...Weird.

Quotes of the Week:

Jim: Andy put down a bunch of deposits on stuff for his wedding with Angela, but then she was sleeping with Dwight... for several years.

Charles: Dwight, take a seat.
Dwight: I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.
Charles: No. That's weird. You can just sit.

Dwight: (shaking Charles' hand) It's firm.

Andy: I am here for you. Let me be your traveling pants.

Jim: When I look in the mirror, I don't like the face that looks back.
Andy: Well... so what? Your body's a 10.

Michael: I am going to come at you, and I am going to come at you hard.

Dwight: (reading Michael's files) "Schrute, Dwight." And on the back, he wrote, "Great salesman. Better friend." (shakes head and reveals card) "Tall." And "beets."

I love an episode with so many awesome visual jokes. The gags with the cheese puffs and the notepads between Michael, Pam, and Ryan were hysterical. Dwight's awkward movements in a long-sleeved shirt were also great. Although I feel like we're beginning to lose a little of Dwight's usual character and get more of Rainn Wilson's personality instead. I don't know how to explain that any better, but I feel like Dwight's been different in the past few episodes. I hope he returns to form soon. I miss the almost sweet, geeky qualities that went along with Dwight's jerk nature.

But I think we're all wondering about the bigger issue presented in this episode: Did Michael, Pam, and Ryan go to Pizza by Alfredo or Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? As Kevin has said before, there's a big difference. (One of the two is like eating a hot circle of garbage.)

Next time on "The Office:" In "Broke," Michael’s new company struggles to make early morning deliveries while the office tries to get their expense reports in on time after Angela enforces Dunder Mifflin’s policy.

A List of Entertainment Related Things I Irrationally Fear

2009-04-10T13:30:00.001-05:00

movie theater popcorn
Howie Mandel
the THX noise and logo
a Tim Allen comeback
a Sinbad comeback
movies or episodes of TV shows where characters shrink or are made tiny
when CGI is used to make babies talk or dance
Spencer Pratt
the puppet guy from "Heroes"
being shot/stabbed for asking people to be quiet at the movie theater
the theme song sequence for "Roseanne"
Eddie Murphy in "The Nutty Professor"
being buried alive like Carly on "Days of Our Lives" (I don't watch "Days," but my mom did when I was a kid and this is the only plotline I remember.)
Jim Carrey in "The Mask"
the loud noise at the end of the last reel of film at a movie theater

The Office: The Michael Scott Paper Company

2009-04-09T21:11:00.011-05:00

Thank goodness we only had to wait 30 minutes to find out what happens next at The Michael Scott Paper Company.

Michael pulls up to the building in his PT Cruiser, feeling pretty confident as he blasts Lady Gaga while wearing a pair of Oakley sunglasses. After clumsily realizing he doesn't have his old parking space anymore, he holds a ceremonial ribbon cutting before opening his new office: the closet-sized Michael Scott Paper Company.

Then... there's a brand new theme song, focused on the awkwardly small Michael Scott Paper Company! Awesome!

After that bit of excitement (which I watched three times with glee), we find that Michael's scheduled a party for the opening of the business. He wants to give away coupons for customer service, but needs someone to make copies of them. Pam refuses because she fears being labeled as the receptionist. Ryan refuses because he's a snobby jerk. Michael gets frustrated, especially upon realizing that not only can they hear the running water from the bathroom above them, they can also hear voices. (How funny was Toby while he was talking about "Damages?")

Michael tries to solve Pam and Ryan's bickering by giving them corners of the room to have as their own private corners. Ryan uses his corner to make calls to his friends and Michael takes two corners, leaving Pam with the corner where the copier is. Angered, Pam goes up to Dunder Mifflin to ask Charles for her job back, which doesn't happen. Michael hears about Pam's trip upstairs and is visibly upset at his pancake luncheon, where he serves the biggest, squarest pancakes known to man. The team seems defeated until Pam makes a sale to a client who showed up at the pancake luncheon.

Upstairs, Jim continues to deal with Charles' hatred. He's confused when Charles asks him for a "run down" of his clients. Jim spends hours trying to figure out exactly what Charles is asking for. He finally makes something, but Charles won't look over it and tells Jim to fax it to his distribution list... which is another thing Jim has no clue about. So he faxes his dad. ...Fail. Poor Jim.

Meanwhile, Dwight and Andy seem to have become friends and plan on going hunting together. Just as the duo appears to have gotten past fighting over Angela, the new receptionist, Erin, arrives. At first, the men attempt to be generous and concede Erin to each other. But as they have a guitar/banjo jam session in the break room, they begin to compete for Erin, who interestedly sings along to their rendition of "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Andy shows off his banjo skills, which prompts Dwight to ask Erin to sing with him on guitar, which prompts Andy to sing a cappella, which prompts Dwight to sing in German! Erin actually seems impressed with all of this until the guys get distracted and start singing to each other. Could Dwight be Andy's new Wing Man For Life? (That's WMFL, of course.)

Quotes of the Week:

Michael: (on the phone with his mother) They're getting on my nerves, Mom. Both of 'em. "R" thinks he's too good to be here and "P" is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam: Michael, we can hear you.
Michael: I'm on the phone, please! (to his mother) Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. "P's" being a giant "B."

Dwight: (whispering to Andy) Listen, when I saw you talking to Erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated and your skin flushed and I'm assuming a little bit of blood rushed into your penis. Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where does that leave us?

Michael: Who would have thought that the thing that would save this company would be work? And pancakes?

What a great episode. I loved the fiery energy Pam had in her fights with Ryan - we don't get to see that in her very often. New Ryan is already getting annoying... which is kind of perfect. But the MVP of the night was Stanley... I think he only had one line, but all of his reactions were fantastic. The look on his face when Dwight disclosed his reaction to the receptionist was hilarious. His laughter when he saw Ryan? Priceless. Honorary mention goes to Pam, who (in addition to being fiery) was consistently adorable throughout her whole ordeal. Her wistfulness when she sat upstairs at Dunder Mifflin and her girly jumping up and down when she made her first sale was great. I'm surprised at how much I love this new direction for the show. I don't know how long it'll last, but it's working for me for now.

Next week on "The Office:" In "Heavy Competition," Dwight’s loyalty to Michael is tested when he finds a new hero in Charles. Meanwhile, Andy tries to provide for all of Jim’s emotional needs.

The Office: Dream Team

2009-04-09T20:03:00.009-05:00

Tonight we got two episodes of "The Office" that concerned two paper companies: Dunder Mifflin and the brand new Michael Scott Paper Company! Can we handle this much hilarity? Let's find out!

As I predicted last week, Kevin's not the best receptionist. He yells when people have calls, washes his hands before he remembers the instructions he wrote on them, and runs around the office trying to figure out everyone's extensions.

After the theme, Pam arrives at Michael's condo and seems excited about her new job at The Michael Scott Paper Company... until Mike answers the door in his bathrobe and calls Pam a hooker. After getting raw eggs in his Crocs, Michael reveals how scared he is about starting the new company. Pam tries to get him on task with a to-do list and discovers (to her surprise) that Michael's already got a few productive things on the schedule for the day.

They go out to recruit a sales staff. They get Vikram, who you'll remember from Michael's brief stint as a telemarketer in the "Money" episode. They get Ryan, who has returned from Thailand with bleached blond hair and a job at a bowling alley. And they get... Michael's Nana as a potential investor. After she turns them down, Vikram realizes that Nana was Michael's grandmother and goes back to his telemarketing job. (And to think... he was a doctor back in India.)

Pam begins to panic, realizing that Michael's own grandmother doesn't even believe in him. And in a role reversal from the beginning of the episode, Michael delivers a (kinda) rousing speech that seems to inspire Pam. They set out to find an actual office where they can set up shop. And that office ends up being in the same building as Dunder Mifflin.

Back in the original office, Kelly and Angela continue to fawn over Charles... who continues to dislike Jim. (Dwight couldn't be happier.) Andy's back to his old habit: pretending to like the same things his boss likes, which in this case is soccer. Seeing that Charles is actually impressed with Andy's pretend soccer knowledge, the rest of the employees join in with pretend enthusiasm. Jim finally caves and mentions that he plays soccer... which is not true... which Dwight intends to expose to Charles by suggesting a soccer match between the men after work.

The entire office joins in the game and they look about as good as Jim's elementary school team must have looked. The game comes to a halt when Charles kicks the ball, Jim ducks, and the ball hits Phyllis in the face, causing her to swallow a crown. Good game.

Quotes of the Week:

Jim: I used to play soccer in school... From second to fourth grade. I was on the orange team.

Jim: My strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible and chalk it up to teamwork.

Michael: Nana. I really think that Papa would want you to do this.

Vikram: I thought Nana raised some good questions. What kind of name is "Nana?"
Pam: It means "grandmother."
Vikram: Oh, sweet Jesus...

Well, it's great to have Ryan back. (If someone's in the theme song, they should really be on the show.) But mostly, I couldn't be happier that Michael and Pam are setting up shop in the same building as Dunder Mifflin. That solves all of the problems I was worried about: two different locations, Jim and Pam being apart, Michael and Dwight being apart... I think having everyone in the same building will allow for some great interactions. So despite a so-so episode, I'm glad it eased my fears about The Michael Scott Paper Company.

Top Five Takedown: TV Shows About Girls

2009-04-02T14:58:00.013-05:00

I love television. I am a girl. But that doesn't always mean I like TV shows about girls or intended for girls. Many shows aiming for the female demographic are not only bad, they're insulting. So today I salute the shows that got it right.*

5. "Veronica Mars" (2004 - 2007) This show is number five on my list because... I haven't seen the entire series just yet. But you'd be surprised how few adequate female-centric shows there have been in the past few years and this one deserves to be on the list. Kristen Bell plays the title character, a high school/college student who doubles as a private investigator. This show proves we've come a long way since Daphne from "Scooby Doo." While the show has romances as subplots, the character's life doesn't completely revolve around these relationships, a trap that too many shows aimed at women fall prey to. I look forward to watching more episodes of this cancelled-too-soon series.

4. "Gilmore Girls" (2000 - 2007) GG has become one of my favorite shows of all time. In fact, once I finish this post, I intend on watching a syndicated episode on ABC Family, as I do every day at 4 p.m. This show has even more girl power behind it because it's the brain child of Amy Sherman-Palladino, whose fast paced dialogue and engaging story lines made this show a success. The series follows a mother and daughter duo, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, as they navigate their way through life in Stars Hollow, Connecticut, a small town full of quirky supporting characters. The writing on this show is the smartest I've ever seen, so it's easy to buy the main characters as smart, funny females. When Sherman-Palladino left after the sixth season, the show took a downturn and was cancelled after its seventh season. But I still religiously watch the DVD sets and reruns. I believe one of the greatest crimes in history is the fact that Lauren Graham was never nominated for an Emmy for her role as Lorelai. Her acting is far and away better than most women on television. Also, the show has a killer soundtrack and the dialogue is infinitely quotable. I didn't discover "Gilmore Girls" until halfway through its run because for the first few years I was so turned off by its lame-o theme song, which despite being sung by the amazing Carole King, sounds like a sappy soap opera theme. But I encourage everyone, even guys, to give this show a chance.

3. "Daria" (1997 - 2002) This is without a doubt the best show that has ever aired on MTV. You wouldn't think a show that was spun off from "Beavis and Butthead" would become a landmark of female television, but "Daria" is just that. Created by Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn, "Daria" was an animated series about the title character, a cynical teen trying to survive high school. Every character is completely spot on, and while some may seem like stereotypes, they always reveals themselves to be more than they appear. The music was killer, the writing was sharp, and the animation was always terrific. Most importantly, Daria was a character I felt a strong kinship with throughout middle school and high school. The DVD release of the show has been delayed for years due to music licensing troubles. I hope and pray I can own a box set of "Daria" some day.

2. "The Sarah Silverman Program" (2007 - ) Thank God this show hasn't been cancelled. Comedian Sarah Silverman uses every episode of her self-titled show to prove that girls can be vulgar, funny, and adorable all at the same time. There's no extended series story line here. Sarah lives in Valley Village, California, and spends her time with her sister and gay neighbors, played hilariously straight by Steve Agee and Brian Posehn. Her favorite show is "Cookie Party," she found her dog in the trash, and she's had an on-again off-again relationship with God... who is black. What more can I say? I worship Sarah Silverman.

1. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997 - 2003) When I first told my friends that I watched this show, I was mocked. Severely mocked. Now those friends have seen every episode and love it like I do. Victory! If only I could make the world feel the same way. There's a LOT of "Buffy" love out there, but there is equally as much disdain. I don't think the goofy title helps. Still, creator and genius Joss Whedon crafted the finest female driven show in history with "BTVS." Sarah Michelle Gellar ably plays the title character, a teen girl destined to... slay vampires. The metaphors between horror movies and high school are none too subtle but always clever. This is one of the rare shows that can make me laugh and cry all in one episode. Quite simply, I'm devoted to "Buffy" and to anything Joss Whedon has a hand in. I once tried to write a short story, but it came out as a complete rip off of the "Doublemeat Palace" episode, complete with direct quotes. I love "Buffy" and I always will.

So what have we learned? A) Good writing has a strong hand in making shows that represent women well. B) The WB/The CW knows what they're doing. They may not be the most highly regarded network station, but they aired three of the five shows on this list. C) I can't write short stories without plagiarizing Joss Whedon.

*Note: I've confined my list to shows that have been produced in the past 20 years and feature one or more female protagonists. Shows with ensemble casts like "30 Rock" were not considered. Shows that are mildly entertaining but portray women in a horrible light, such as "Grey's Anatomy" or "Sex and the City," were also not considered.

The Office: Two Weeks

2009-03-26T23:17:00.005-05:00

Last week, we were faced with a cliffhanger: Michael Scott quit his job as Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. So what happens to our favorite office now? Pour yourself a glass of scotch with Splenda and let's go!

We open on Michael surrounded by his employees, regaling them with the tale of his epic confrontation with CFO David Wallace. He tries to liven it up, but everyone's a little disappointed when he reveals that he simply said, "I quit."

After the theme, we find Michael being... more Michael-like than usual. He appears to be taking advantage of his "two weeks' notice" by doing absolutely no work. He tousles Phyllis' hair, downs a glass of scotch, and ignores anything new VP Charles asks of him.

While all this is going on, Pam has been given the task of setting up the new copier. (The montage of the various "wear and tear" incidents that befell the old copier was hilarious.) Meanwhile, Kelly and Angela continue to try and win Charles' heart.

As prospective new managers arrive to be interviewed, Michael begins to realize how difficult it is to find a job these days... despite all the headhunters he thinks are out there looking for him. Michael tries calling Prince Family Paper (Remember them?) only to discover that they've gone out of business. Despite the warnings of nearly everyone in the office, Michael decides to open his own paper company. He tries to recruit talent from Dunder Mifflin to bring along with him, but no one feels comfortable leaving. (Was it just me, or did it feel like an awkward breakup when Dwight found out about Michael's new company?)

Charles finds Michael's clumsily made "Michael Scott Paper Company" order form and brings in Hank to escort Michael off the premises. Charles doesn't even let Michael give one of his incredible goodbye speeches! He tries to yell it from the parking lot, but no one can hear him. Mike pretends to drive off, but sneaks back into the building. The employees feel his absence (even Toby) ... until they notice him crawling back in. He literally grovels on the ground, begging anyone to join him at his company. Charles asks Michael to leave one more time and he does... and Pam goes with him, asking to be made a salesperson at Michael's new company.

Quotes of the Week:

Pam: He finally has a story we really want to hear. And he knows it.

Charles: For regional manager, I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons.

Jim: (yelling to Michael after hearing screeching and roaring coming from his office) It's Monster.com. Singular.

Jim: Do you know the industry is in decline?

Michael: Yeah! God, I practically invented decline!

Michael: This is a dream that I have had since lunch and I am not giving up on it now.

Kelly: So that is why I have to leave at five on Tuesdays. It's to pick up my little sisters from school. We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians.

Charles: I am aware of the effect I have on women.

Michael: You know what? I had a great time at prom. And no one said "yes" to that, either.

If Steve Carell needed material for an Emmy reel, I'd suggest he take it from this episode. His performance was outstanding, even when he wasn't speaking: his loosened tie, his reaction to Phyllis' leftover spaghetti, and the look on his face when he was told how tough the job market is right now... all priceless. I certainly didn't see the Pam surprise coming... but now that I think of it, the idea probably came from the "Lecture Circuit" episode where Pam fills in for Michael. I'm excited that Pam will get to do more, since that's something she's always wanted. However, did anyone else think she looked a little concerned as she walked away with Michael? And for the record, I still have complete faith in the Jim/Pam relationship.

I can't wait to see how this plays out. But we won't actually get to see anything until April 9th, when "The Office" returns with TWO episodes to support the premiere of the new Amy Poehler series, "Parks and Recreation," from the writers of "The Office." Don't wear yourselves too thin, guys!

In the meantime, let's all speculate how poorly Kevin and Stanley will perform in their new jobs as receptionist and productivity manager, respectively. Yikes.

The Office: New Boss

2009-03-19T23:14:00.004-05:00

Break out the cake and ice cream! It's Michael Scott's 15 year anniversary at Dunder Mifflin! Put on your party hats, because it's time to celebrate! Let's go!

This week's episode opens on a meeting between Michael, Dwight, and Pam. They're discussing how to best celebrate Michael's 15 year anniversary at Dunder Mifflin. Dwight suggests opening with a 15 minute round of applause followed by a 15 minute moment of silence. Dwight is interrupted by Jim, who appears in a tuxedo and suggests a classy event. (Apparently, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code and the tuxedo is Jim's reaction to said memo.) Jim begins to suggest the same ideas as Dwight, but Michael only agrees with Jim... because he looks so classy!

After the theme, Charles, the new Dunder Mifflin northeast vice president, stops by the Scranton branch. Michael anticipates that he and the new VP will be bosom buddies, considering his rapport with the previous two people that held the position, Ryan and Jan. The women of the branch swoon over Charles while Jim panics because he is still wearing a tuxedo. (We knew a prank would backfire on him someday.) He tries to explain his super classy attire to the VP, Charles, but the boss doesn't seem amused.

Charles explains to the employees that times are hard and Dunder Mifflin plans to fight through the economic downturn, but he can't guarantee that there won't be layoffs. Much to Michael's dismay, Charles explains that the company needs to cut three percent across the board, meaning that they need to cut down on unnecessary spending... such as money spent on parties ...like the one Michael was planning at the beginning of the episode. Michael tries to usher Charles out, but the VP plans to stick around for the day.

Michael sits down with Charles, tries to get to know him, and discovers that they have a very different idea of how things should run at Dunder Mifflin. Charles orders lunch for everyone, which totally charms the ladies and frustrates Michael. After Michael childishly argues with Charles, he continues the previous meeting of the Party Planning Committee. Jim and Pam keep pitching ridiculous ideas to Michael until Charles breaks up the meeting, embarrassing them both. Charles disbands the Party Planning Committee, prompting Michael to leave for New York to take it up with CFO David Wallace. In a move that I definitely didn't see coming, Michael quits his job at Dunder Mifflin.

Quotes of the Week:

Dwight: You're just agreeing with him because he's wearing a tux!

Dwight: Mr. Peanut is not classy. He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle, and a top hat.
Michael: That's what makes him classy.

Michael: Why don't we just leave that position vacant? Truth be told, I think I thrive under a lack of accountability.

Dwight: (to David Wallace's secretary) Listen, my name is Michael... Scotch. And I just wanted to say that... I've got David Wallace's son in the trunk of my car and if he doesn't get on this phone in five seconds-

Pam: I can tell Michael's mood by which comedy routine he chooses to do. The more infantile, the more upset he is. And he just skipped the Ace Ventura talking butt thing. He never skips it. This is bad.

Pam: And then, out of that cake, pops another stripper holding a smaller cake. And then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one.
Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
Pam: A cupcake.

What a shocker, huh? I'm excited about the prospect of seeing Michael outside of Dunder Mifflin, even if it's only for a few moments. The episode in Season Three after Dwight is fired and he works at Staples is one of my favorites. Hopefully, "The Office" can find something equally funny to do with Michael who seems to have given his two weeks' notice. Stay classy, Dunder Mifflin!

Next week: In “Two Weeks," Michael’s relationship with the new vice president becomes increasingly tense, as Michael finds an excuse to goof off even more than usual. Meanwhile, Pam faces the challenge of a new copier and Kelly develops a crush.

The Office: "Golden Ticket"

2009-03-17T09:18:00.003-05:00

(Again, I apologize for the lateness. This recap was on time at NeighborsGo, but late here because Blogger hasn't been working for me for a few weeks.)

In the opener, Michael disrupts Pam's work with a knock knock joke that ends with a stick of butter on Pam's desk. Dwight tries to top the joke with one about the KGB that ends with Dwight slapping Michael.

After the titles, Michael shows up at the office doing his "best" Gene Wilder impression, dressed as Willy Wonka. Turns out, Michael has slipped five golden tickets into random packages of paper. The tickets will entitle the customer who receives them to a discount... and whimsy, according to Michael. However, Michael didn't spread the tickets out into different shipments, so one of Dunder Mifflin's biggest clients got all five tickets. The company is likely to lose a fortune and the employees fear the wrath of corporate.

Michael avoids CFO David Wallace's calls with a variety of excuses (a civil rights rally, an Obama fashion show, a colonoscopy, etc.) until finally facing the music... and blaming it all on Dwight. Michael goes as far as to produce a fake diary entry that credits Dwight with the Golden Ticket idea. Dwight counters with an actual diary that notes Michael as the genius behind the tickets.

Michael finally convinces Dwight to take the blame in front of David Wallace, who congratulates Dwight - turns out, the Golden Ticket idea was so much fun for the client that they decided to make Dunder Mifflin their only source for office supplies! In a delightful moment, Dwight accepts the congratulations, much to Michael's dismay. Wallace announces to the office how phenomenal the idea was, while Michael tries in vain to expose Dwight. The rest of the employees, still angry at Michael for his carelessness, goes along with Dwight's story. (Pam even hugs Dwight!)

Unable to contain himself, Michael bursts into a meeting between Wallace and Dwight, furiously listing all the good ideas he's ever had. (They all seem to revolve around the toilet.) Weary of the whole affair, Wallace leaves Scranton annoyed but willing to give Michael the credit he wants.

Quotes of the Week:

Kevin: I'm a textbook overthinker.

Michael: Was it a spoiled little girl with big lips or a little boy with a strange cowboy obsession?

Michael: It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam! That's what carnations are for!

Michael: Why do you have a diary?
Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.

Dwight: I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. It won't happen again.

Michael: I had an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called "Shoe La La."

Michael: I have a lot of toilet ideas.

Kevin: Nice. ... boobs.

This episode worked really well for me, mostly because the subplot (which had to do with Kevin getting dating advice from Andy, Jim, and Pam) was small enough that it didn't distract from the hilarious main plot. The bits with Kevin were certainly funny, but it didn't build to a big deal that took away from the Golden Ticket debacle. Michael's Willy Wonka costume, his weak attempts at reverse psychology, his diary fight with Dwight, and his fury at not getting credit were all hysterical. David Wallace's reactions to everything that happened were perfect - even when we just heard his voice on the phone. This episode more than made up for the anemic and weak "Blood Drive" episode from last week. I'd like to see "The Office" use this format more often. Concentrating on one strong story line really serves the humor of the show well. I give "Golden Ticket" two Wonka bars way up!

The Office: "Blood Drive"

2009-03-17T09:13:00.003-05:00

(Sorry this hasn't been posted here yet. It was on time at NeighborsGo, but Blogger hasn't been working for me for two weeks.)

In the opening, Pam tries to keep a phone system salesman at bay because she's fully aware that a new phone system could replace her at Dunder Mifflin. Jim pretends to be Michael, who emerges from his office... but is distracted by Jim and Pam's Fonzie impressions. Pam's job is safe for now.

After the theme, we see that it's Valentine's Day at the office. (Way to time that one, NBC.) Jim and Pam are celebrating their first Valentine's as an engaged couple, much to the dismay of the still-single Michael. He jealously excludes Jim and Pam from the office festivities, so Phyllis invites the couple to lunch with her and her husband, Bob Vance. (He's in refrigeration, in case you don't remember.) The Vances and the future Halperts get along swimmingly, joking about bowling, small hands, and fellow employees. Later, Bob and Phyllis disappear to the bathroom for ten minutes, so Jim and Pam start eating their food. (Honestly, I would have done the same thing. Don't leave your food unattended.) After a while, Jam wonders if they've been ditched, so they look around for the Vances... and they find them. ...Or hear them together in the handicapped bathroom, actually.

Meanwhile, there's a blood drive going on in the office parking lot. You wouldn't think it would be romantic, but inevitably, Michael meets a charming girl in the blood drive van. They nervously chat it up and make a few nauseating blood jokes. (Juice boxes and Ocean Spray were involved.) Michael passes out and wakes up to find that the lovely lady has disappeared, but left behind her glove in true Cinderella fashion.

Continuing the office festivities, Michael has the employees sit in a circle and discuss their tragic love lives. Oscar has a pretty depressing anecdote and Angela recounts the events of "The Duel," but denies that the participants were Dwight and Andy. Depressed, Michael suggests having an office park mixer, which would also help him find his mystery blood drive girl. Various people mingle around the office, awkwardly making small talk. Kevin actually meets a woman (and it isn't a disaster), Dwight turns the party into a sales pitch, and Kelly finds out about Michael's lost love and swoons. (We know how much Kelly loves romantic comedies.) Enamored with Michael's story, the employees stick around after hours to wait with Michael. When she never arrives, they all leave the office together with Michael feeling hopeful - as he usually does when he doesn't feel so alone.

Quotes of the Week:

Pam: But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for you! ...a vending machine...

Michael: Hey everybody- I just invited Jim to suck it!

Jim: I have a lot of work to do. Those mines aren't going to sweep themselves.

Michael: There has to be a way to get all of these lonely people together.
Dwight: A net. A giant net.

Kevin: Are you on e-mail?

"Blood Drive" actually left me a little cold. Maybe it would have made more of an impression if it had been properly timed... Seriously, what was NBC thinking by delaying this episode? (Actually, I believe the reason is Sweeps related.) I think it would have been a lot more effective the Thursday before Valentine's Day. Instead, we've been treated to weeks of repeats, forcing us to eagerly anticipate a new episode... and then we got this one. I know that even the blandest episode of "The Office" is better than most of the other stuff on television. But still, for an episode about a blood drive, this episode lacked life.

Next week: In “Golden Ticket," Michael causes a huge problem in the office when he comes up with the idea to put “golden tickets” into packages of paper for clients to redeem for discounts. Andy, Jim, and Pam give Kevin differing advice on wooing a woman.

I Watched It So You Don't Have To!

2009-02-28T22:50:00.004-06:00

So this was an idea I've been throwing around for awhile... doing a YouTube show. But here's the thing: being a full-time student at SMU and an intern at The Dallas Morning News doesn't exactly afford me the time to do this on a regular basis. I also lack the technology to make it look and sound less... crappy. Because if you watch the video below, you're bound to notice how crappy it looks and sounds.

All I've got is my "old" iSight and my "old" PowerbookG4. (Hey, I study film history, not filmmaking. Leave me alone.) I mean, I have a better camera... but using it would have taken up more time than I had. But I didn't want to completely abandon the effort, so here it is:

This is the first and possibly last episode of "I Watched It So You Don't Have To!" Frankly, I was bored this weekend and used what I had to put this together in a very short amount of time.

In this edition, I discuss the Oscars, "Lost," "Heroes," and the demise of "The Sarah Silverman Program," complete with lots of spoilers!

P.S. As I uploaded this video, I realized I forgot to mention that "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" ended this week and that was a crazy oversight on my part. Conan is a god amongst men and I look forward to "The Tonight Show" with Conan... mostly because it means I won't have to stay up so late.

Top Five Takedown: High School Movies

2009-02-24T19:00:00.001-06:00

Today's Top Five Takedown category is High School Movies. It's a surprisingly complicated genre of film. Since high schoolers do not regularly make movies, it is up to the screenwriter and director to somehow convey a realistic teen situation, either conjured from memory or researched. Some do an amazing job (see the below films) and others fail miserably.

Here are my top five high school movies:

5. "Juno" (2007) - Together, director Jason Reitman and writer Diablo Cody somehow crafted a masterwork of cinema that almost makes something about teen pregnancy look appealing. Much of this is owed to the film's stars, actual teens Ellen Page and Michael Cera, who deliver Cody's fast-paced dialogue with the skill of much older and experienced actors. The soundtrack is stellar (a key factor in all high school films) and the structure of the film is simple in a really lovely way. "Juno" was very deserving of the Best Picture nomination it earned.

4. "Clueless" (1995) and "Mean Girls" (2004) - Yes, a tie! 1995 was a banner year for movies, giving us classics like "Pulp Fiction," "Forrest Gump," and Pixar's debut, "Toy Story." But when discussing that year in film, many pass over "Clueless," director/writer Amy Heckerling's finest work. (I haven't seen "Fast Times at Ridgemont High.") With a story somewhat adapted from Jane Austen's "Emma," "Clueless" conveys 1990s high school life in Beverly Hills with exacting dialogue and an appealing (though older looking) cast - with the performance of Alicia Silverstone's career and a delightful early turn from Paul Rudd. This is one that got a lot better as I got older and understood the sex and drug references. (So parents - quit worrying about what your kids watch. They don't understand half of it anyway.)

"Mean Girls" could be said to be an update of "Clueless" for the Millennial generation, but it's so much more than that. The movie is directed by Mark Waters and brilliantly adapted by former SNL head writer and writer/star of "30 Rock" Tina Fey from a self-help book for mothers of teenage girls, "Queen Bees and Wannabees" by Rosalind Wiseman. "Mean Girls" eerily captures EXACTLY what it's like for teenage girls in high school. They aren't competing for boys - they're competing against themselves. This movie features Lindsay Lohan's best career performance and introduced Rachel McAdams to the world as queen bee Regina George. This film is eternally quotable and always fun to watch.

3. "The Breakfast Club" (1985) - You knew director/writer John Hughes was going to pop up somewhere on this list. Face it, the man defined the genre. He saw the teen films of the 1950s - you know, the ones where Gidget dances on the beach with Moondoggie - and knew they didn't reflect what high school was really like. "The Breakfast Club" accurately reflects how high schoolers group themselves into cliques and roles that they never really fill completely. Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall are great in this film as "the princess" and "the nerd," but it's Judd Nelson's performance as bad boy John Bender that stays with you.

2. "The Girl Next Door" (2004) - I guess 2004 was a good year for teen flicks. This movie completely took me by surprise the first time I saw it, which was only a year ago. All I knew from the trailers was that a kid lives next door to a porn star and tries to date her. What a horrible advertising campaign. This film takes on topics like the inadequacy of sexual education in schools, the pressure on students to excel, and yeah, the pornography industry. It also depicts a realistic friendship between three very different (but somehow similar) guys and a believable love story between an honor student and a former porn star. Like "Juno," this movie also has a killer soundtrack. Every time I watch it, I find something new to like about it.

1. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986) - I couldn't resist another John Hughes movie. This is not only my favorite movie about high school... it's one of my favorite movies of all time. Who doesn't love the irresistible charm of Matthew Broderick as Ferris, a boy whose life just magically works out for him every time? Alan Ruck's performance as reluctant best friend Cameron warms my heart every time I witness it. His decision to stand up to his father at the end of the movie is just one of those scenes that seeps into your subconscious and associates itself with feelings of victory and freedom. The whole movie oozes freedom as Ferris and Co. traipse around Chicago without a care in the world. The movie features another awesome soundtrack and a fantastic performance from Jeffrey Jones as Principal Ed Rooney. This is another movie that can be quoted for days - in fact, this film is so legendary that its phrases have seeped into our collective consciousness: "NINE TIMES." "What AREN'T we going to do today?" "Save Ferris!" "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?"

Twitter Crash Course: What I've Learned in Six Months on Twitter

2009-02-18T10:47:00.011-06:00

I don't pretend to be a Twitter expert. I didn't even find Twitter on my own - I already had three friends using it who convinced me to join up. (They are @whitneyredman, @adamrucker, and @loganculwell. I encourage you to follow them. They're very entertaining, I promise.) But in my six months on Twitter, I've come to love it. I love it so much that I've all but abandoned Facebook. I've become so addicted to Twitter that the app on my iPhone is on the first menu page where I can easily access it and tweet to my heart's delight.

I've also learned a lot about this strange new media. And I'm going to share those tips today, because I know that SMU Journalism is encouraging their students to join Twitter and it might seem useless* or confusing at first. So, here we go:

1. Twitter is not Facebook. Facebook is a much more passive media. You input information about yourself and then skulk around, looking at other people's pages and occasionally writing on them. Twitter is 100% active. If you're on Twitter and you don't make frequent posts, or "tweets," then you're missing the point.

2. A tweet is like a status... but not. Your 140 character tweets are similar to a Facebook status, but also different. Since tweets are all that exist on Twitter, you shouldn't limit yourself to tweeting the song lyrics that describe your emotions at that moment. Tweets can be pithy thoughts about your day, clever observations, helpful advice, excited declarations, or informative links to blogs or news sites that you find interesting. It doesn't stop there - get creative. @scharpling writes a Twitter novel called "Fuel Dump." He tweets new sentences in his humorous novel on occasion. This weekend, I intend to live-Twitter the Oscars, since I will be away from my blog. I experimented by live-Twittering the Super Bowl a few weeks ago and people seemed to enjoy it and even joined in.

3. Twitter is a more fluid social media. Imagine Twitter like walking into a room where millions of people are talking. You can't possibly hear every little thing that's said. So it is with Twitter. Once you gain more than a few followers, it would be impossible to try to read/respond to every tweet. And you don't have to. Twitter is like mingling at a party - you'll dip in and out of conversations.

4. There are different kinds of Twitterers. In that aforementioned room, there would be many different kinds of conversation. Some people would just be talking to themselves, making declarations, while silent people listen on. Some people would be actively engaging in conversations with people who they've never met but share common interests with. And some people would be in a tightly knit group of people they know personally, chatting amongst themselves. All of these are acceptable ways to tweet. You have organizations like @cnn, who don't reply but rather issue news tweets that we all receive. There are groups of people, especially journalists, who follow each other and converse with each other, but have never met in real life. (This is honestly the most common method of twittering.) And then you have the option of only following people you know personally, though this is really limiting the capabilities of Twitter.

5. If you have an iPhone, you need a Twitter app. Twittering on the go is a must, especially for journalists. Twitter recently made a huge gain in publicity when it was the first medium to have pictures and info regarding the Hudson river plane landing. Tweet often, even when away from the computer, and take pictures. If you're wondering which Twitter apps are best, I prefer TwitterFon now although Twitterrific suited me just fine for awhile.

6. Be you. Seriously. This goes double for journalists. Use your real name, both as your user name and your display name. This makes you easier to find, identify, and follow. I know "TCUcutie07" seems adorable and it probably matches your Hotmail name, but I have no idea who you are. Moreover, I'm not entirely sure I even want to follow you. But if you're @dougbenson, I know that you're Doug Benson, of TV's "Best Week Ever."

7. Who to follow? There is no stalking on Twitter like there is on Facebook. If a random gal I've never met friends me on Facebook, I'm a little weirded out. But following someone on Twitter just means that you liked something they said and want to hear more. There's nothing creepy about it. Don't be afraid to follow whoever you want. In turn, check out who other people are following and if you like their tweets, follow those people, too.

8. Know the Twitter lingo. When you reply to someone, you put @ before their user name. If you want to copy and paste what someone else has said, you "retweet," which looks like this: Let's say Adam tweets, "Tonight's episode of 'Lost' was awesome!" I would retweet by typing "RT @adamrucker: Tonight's episode of 'Lost' was awesome!" (You just put RT before copying and pasting the tweet. TwitterFon does this automatically for you when you want to RT.)

Retweeting is especially helpful when you see a news tweet or link that you'd like to share with others. Retweet it so you give credit to the person who originally posted. This also helps spread the Twitter community, as you might be following me but not Adam and my retweeting his comment leads you to his page.

Another, less often used abbreviation is OH, which means "overheard." If I'm at Starbucks and I hear a girl say that the new tea lattes are gross and I want to share that with you, I would tweet "OH at Starbucks: "These new tea lattes are disgusting."

You should also frequently use TinyURL. This may be obvious to some of you, but like I said, this is a crash course. Twitter 101. So, you only have 140 characters to say what you need to say. Well, if that includes a link, you're out of luck because most links are reeeeally long. So paste your link into TinyURL and they'll spit out a much shorter link that links to the page you wanted to share.

Finally, I'll attempt to explain one of the most confusing aspects of Twitter... the hash mark: #. Putting a hash mark followed by a description in your tweet helps people find it in the Twitter search engine that is linked at the bottom of every page. For example, this weekend, when I tweet about the Oscars, I'm likely to put #oscars at the end of each tweet. This makes it easy for people to find in the search engine when they want to see all tweets relating to the Oscars. Try typing in "#superbowl" in the Twitter search engine: it will take to you a page displaying every tweet that had #superbowl contained within it. Basically, it just allows for a more specific search. ...That's how I understand it, anyway.

9. Make connections. Again, this goes double for journalists. Story: I followed @neighborsgo, who in return followed me. Every week, I write a blog post recapping Thursday's new episode of "The Office." The editors at @neighborsgo saw these posts because I linked to my blog in my tweets. I guess they liked what they read, because they asked me to recap "The Office" on their TV blog, which reaches a much bigger audience than the blog you're reading now. In short, be yourself... but try to be the best version of yourself that employers might see.

10. Be nice. On Twitter, there are no rules and basically anything goes. Twitter is a fun environment, but offers little privacy. I heard through retweets of a man who represented a certain company that wanted to open a branch in Memphis. This man went to Memphis as an ambassador of his company in order to meet with a Memphis company so the two could join forces. After their meeting, the man returned to his hotel room and tweeted about how he thought Memphis was an ugly city in which he would never want to live. The Memphis based company saw this and wrote the man's company a letter, declining their offer to merge because of the disrespect the man showed on Twitter. It's random, but it could happen to any of us. Don't go disparaging @dallasnews or @cnn because you might work for them someday.

If I think of more tips, I'll update this post. But this should be enough to get Twitter newbies started. Good luck and have fun!

*If you'd like to even discuss why you should be on Twitter at all, @davelee (an online journalist for the BBC) made an excellent blog post entitled "Not convinced? 10 things to change your mind about Twitter" that you should check out.

Ode to "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"

2009-02-16T16:40:00.006-06:00

Since this is the last week of the "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" show, I wanted to give the series a proper sendoff. (Of course I realize that Conan is taking over "The Tonight Show," but we'll always remember his humbler beginnings.)

I first discovered Conan in middle school when my friend Whitney Redman showed me the "string dance." Baffled but amused, I had no idea what she was talking about. That Friday, we had a sleepover and made sure to watch "Late Night." I instantly fell in love with the gangly, self-deprecating, floppy haired Irishman called Conan.

I've never been a loyal viewer of "Late Night," but I watch when I can- and I always like what I see. Conan has a unique way of interacting with guests, other staff members, and even his audience. He gives a better opening monologue than Leno or Letterman could ever hope for. His band is not only top notch, they're also hilarious. Though Conan's appeal seems to be limited to a younger generation, this seems ideal for moving him to "The Tonight Show," where we can all enjoy his antics at an earlier hour. Thanks for the laughs, Conan. I look forward to many more... in an earlier time slot.

And now, some of my favorite Conan moments:

"Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage" has always been a favorite sketch of mine:

Conan plays 1864 baseball:

Conan O'Brien 1864 Baseball
by Youpinadi

Though nothing beats Triumph's appearance at the premiere of "Star Wars: Episode II," here's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the 2008 Comic Con:

Conan teams up with another of my favorite comedians, Jim Gaffigan, in "Pale Force:"

And many more wonderful moments... knocking over the microphone on a frequent basis, the classic spin and point, the Trump impression, the back and forth with Max, the photo collages with Max and Joel, and everything with Mr. Met. Thanks, "Late Night!"

Slumdog Millionaire... seriously?

2009-02-14T17:33:00.006-06:00

I had some time to kill at the mall today, so I saw "Slumdog Millionaire." (For those keeping count, the only Best Picture nominee I haven't yet seen is "The Reader.")

I may catch a lot of flak for this, but I don't care: this was the most underwhelming movie I've ever seen. Being nominated for Best Picture gives me certain expectations. I was expecting my socks to be blown off. They are still thoroughly on my feet.

As I was sitting in the theater, I was looking around to see if other people were having some amazing reaction to this film that I wasn't. What am I missing?

It's a good movie. It's by no means a waste of my money... I'd even buy it on DVD. It kept reminding me of "Akeelah and the Bee," actually. An R rated "Akeelah." The biggest difference is that I was a lot more invested in the characters and the stakes in "Akeelah" than in "Slumdog." And that's saying something. (Akeelah is a poor black girl trying to win the Scripps spelling bee. Jamal is a poor Indian kid who just wants to be on TV so he can be seen by the love of his life, who is thoroughly entrenched in the gangster life with Jamal's brother.)

"Slumdog Millionaire" is good. But it is a LONG way from Oscar good. It lacks the emotional punch that "Benjamin Button" left me with. It lacks the wonderful mix of humor, gravitas, and activism that "Milk" perfectly employs. It lacks the character studies that make "Frost/Nixon" so engaging. "Slumdog" director Danny Boyle does deserve to be nominated- I think undertaking a film with an unknown cast in a foreign location/culture deserves some credit. But the film overall is not worthy of the title "Best Picture of the Year."

I will now resume being angry that "The Dark Knight" isn't nominated.

Top Five Takedown

2009-02-13T21:55:00.006-06:00

I realize I've been a bum blogger lately. I've posted nothing but "Office" recaps and the occasional awards show commentary.

But listen up. In order to motivate myself to update... and to provide myself with ideas for content... I'm starting a new feature called my Top Five Takedown. The feature will consist of me listing my personal Top Five of something. Maybe it will be my top five favorite late night snacks. It might be my top five favorite 1990s sitcoms. It could even be my top five Julie Andrews movies. You don't know. I don't know.

Before we dive into our first top five, let me explain the name "Top Five Takedown." I wanted something a little snappier than "My Top Five," but "Sergio's White Hot Top Five" is already taken by Sergio on InfoMania on Current TV. I almost went with "Totally Fabulous Top Five," but I felt like that was overselling it. So I went with "Top Five Takedown."

According to Wikipedia, a takedown is a "martial arts and combat sports term for a technique that involves off-balancing an opponent and bringing him or her to the ground." I won't be doing that. Usually, my top fives will be things I like. (There may be the occasional negative top fives, like the Top Five people I don't want to sit next to on a bus.) But I'll actually be taking these things down on paper as I think of them throughout my week, so it works in that way.

Also, I like alliteration. And the name is subject to change if I think of a better one.

So here's my first Top Five Takedown:

Top Five Valentine's Day Movies:*

5. "Sabrina" (1995) - This movie has everything you could want on Valentine's Day: pleasant music, fancy parties, Paris, and a leading actress that isn't so attractive that your boyfriend won't shut up about it. (Beware: it does get a little long in the second act.)

4. "When Harry Met Sally" (1989) - This one is actually funny. It's worth a watch just for all of the interviews with the elderly couples.

3. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (2005) - You may have to avert your eyes at times because of all the attractiveness on screen, but at least Pitt and Jolie provide something for everybody. Love and violence mix perfectly in this movie that might have you a little riled up by the end, if you catch my drift. *wink*

2. "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" (2005) - For the folks who don't feel like watching anything with Meg Ryan. Seriously, though... the flick's got heart.

1. "Beauty and the Beast" (1991) - It's the greatest love story of this or any generation. And it happens to be told through animation and song... with dancing silverware.

And that's my first Top Five Takedown! Come back for more... when I feel like posting another one.

*I personally don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but I'm all for being seasonal.